you have a voice. let it be heard.

love.

2010-08-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

"It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, mess around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can't live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses."
- 2 Days in Paris.

Has the cycle finally been broken? Love.

this american life.

2010-05-20T21:38:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this blog post at Starbucks. In America. Iced latte in hand. Blackberry beside me. Typing on my MacBook computer. A view of the lake in the distance. I just finished exercising in an air-conditioned gym that is less than 3 miles from my house. I drove to get there. Last night I served $20 steaks to people who are among the wealthiest in the world. Then I went home to sleep in a bed, under a fan, complete with pillows and sheets. Soon I will begin working on my second degree at one of the most expensive universities in the nation. I do not take these blessings and privileges lightly. But today I wonder, why me?

I am immensely grateful to have been born in this country and at this particular time in history. I have been given a life of comfort greater than most can dream. I don't plan to renounce my citizenship or even clean out my closet full of clothes and shoes, but a sense of guilt does wash over me now because I know I have not done enough to make the world a better place. Three years ago I traveled through some of the most poverty stricken nations on earth and now I live as if I've forgotten all that I've seen. I shop too much, spend money on expensive and unnecessary drinks, and do not set myself apart as someone whose purpose is to serve the needs of those less fortunate. It's so hard to remain passionate about the world when surrounded by affluence and apathy. But I blame no one but myself. Listening to Tracy Chapman's song, "Mountains O' Things," reminds me of the calling I've received to care for the poor and provide education to the millions of children living without. I will use my blessings to change the world.

"Oh they tell me, there's still time to save my soul. They tell me, renounce all of those material things you gain by exploiting other human beings." - Tracy Chapman

goodbye asia.

2010-03-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

It’s strange to think that one small variable in life has the power to change the whole course of events. I wonder who I would be today if I hadn’t decided to move to Changsha, China 3 ½ years ago. Would I still be living and working in Arkansas? Would I regret not having been brave enough to follow my dream of seeing the world? Who would I be now if I hadn’t met Grant and started traveling throughout the country every weekend? Would I still have fallen in love with Asia, or would I have returned after just 1 year? What career would I have chosen if I hadn’t explored teaching and discovered so much satisfaction in helping others learn? Would I have pursued an advanced degree or would I still be working in youth ministry? So many events have shaped who I am today and I am thankful for the journey. My time in China and South Korea has been the source of invaluable lessons and has forever shaped perspective of the world. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Right now I am flying high over the Pacific Ocean and am about to begin a new adventure. Transition is never easy. My mind is filled with memories of days spent traveling and living in Asia while trying to remain positive and hopeful about the future that awaits me in America. I know that I am ready for a change, but it doesn’t make the move any easier. So much of my identity is now wrapped up in being a foreigner among a sea of people with a language and customs so different from my own. I have grown accustomed to the stares and unfamiliarity. I have found contentment and happiness in the ability to make friends easily and travel to exotic countries on a whim. I have never felt as free as I have during these last few years. In many ways Asia now feels like home. It’s hard to say goodbye to a place that has provided so much joy, so many friendships, and countless new experiences. However, I know that this part of my life must come to an end if I want to move forward and reach new goals.

As I prepare to close this chapter I couldn’t be more thankful for the memories that will always remain. I will never forget the initial excitement of boarding that first flight to the Far East and not knowing what to expect upon arrival. The friends that I laughed and partied with on the backpackers trail in Southeast Asia. The joy I felt hopping on the back of a motorcycle taxi at 4 o’clock in the morning to watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat in Cambodia. The uncontrollable laughter shared at a belly-dancing show on the beaches of Thailand. The moped rides through the streets of Vietnam, Indonesia, and the Philippines. Eating a breakfast of fresh fruit, banana pancakes, and hot coffee on a porch overlooking wing-tipped Balinese rooftops. Riding buses and trains to new cities throughout China. Exploring the markets of Malaysia and feeling so content to travel alone. Photographing beautiful Indian, Khmer, Chinese, and Korean children. Walking around the sparkling streets of Singapore with my best friend and favorite German. Dodging cows and tuk-tuks throughout Rajasthan. Hiking the Great Wall of China for the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth time. Feeling empowered and confident while teaching university students. Turning the corner and seeing the picturesque Taj Mahal. Strolling through the night market in Luang Prabang followed by a heavenly massage before bedtime. Spring mornings spent reading and writing on the patio of the Coffee Bean in Olympic Park. Dancing until the sun came up on the beaches of Thailand, the Philippines, and clubs of Seoul. The hours spent in front of the Forbidden City after midnight laughing and trying to get the perfect Facebook picture. Shopping in Myeong-dong and Sinsa with my best friend. And these memories are just a few of the hundreds that I am lucky enough to call my own. One person doesn’t deserve so much happiness. I am immensely blessed.

I am now returning to America with the hope of obtaining a master's degree in education and social change so that I might one day help to educate refugees, immigrants, and children in developing nations throughout the world. Perhaps the greatest thing that I have learned in Asia is that as a person who has been given every opportunity to succeed in life it is my responsibility to give back. And so a new journey begins.

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.” -Unknown

india revisited.

2010-02-21T05:31:00.000-08:00

I ate Indian food today. I swore I'd never do it again after traveling through Rajasthan last year and being sick almost the entire time but so far, so good. The chicken tikka masala, palak paneer, and butter naan tasted delicious but I'm still not convinced I won't have to run to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I guess tomorrow I will officially know whether or not I am once again a fan of Indian cuisine.

The moment I walked into the Indian/Tibetan/Nepalese restaurant this afternoon the smelled of curry hit my nose and memories of the trip came flooding back. The frustration of arriving in New Delhi after 36 hours of travel and with no luggage. The crowded streets full of beggars and tuk-tuks and cows and turbans. The feeling of turning the corner and seeing the Taj Mahal for the first time. Stepping in a fresh cow patty while wearing flip-flops. Taking a boat ride along the Ganges River and witnessing sacred Hindu rituals. Photographing snake charmers, children, and colorful sarees. Eating Indian food, getting sick, and then eating it again the next day. Bathing under a faucet in almost every hotel room. Almost dying in the Muslim quarter thanks to a show-off driver. Mutton curry with the texture of a sponge. Touring old Maharaja palaces. Being forced to pay an excessive amount of money for a bad henna design that stained my hand for 3 weeks. Passing camels on the side of the street. Cheering when Shahrukh Khan finally got the girl in a Bollywood film. Missing the train to Mumbai and seeing it as a sign from God to escape to Singapore. Spending time with the most wonderful travel partners.

So many wonderful memories, and even more that I'd rather forget, all from a simple lunch date with friends. Sometimes it's fun to reminisce about the past which almost always seems better in retrospect. Although I will most likely avoid revisiting India in the future, I am thankful for the experience and the lessons learned. And I am thankful for chicken tikka that doesn't cause food poisoning. Yummm.

the lunar new year.

2010-02-17T01:24:00.000-08:00

Celebrating holidays overseas always provides a great opportunity for learning more about a country's history and traditions. This past weekend was the Lunar New Year in Asia, known as Sol-Nal in Korea. On Thursday all of the kindergartners came to school dressed in hanboks and we had a fun afternoon spent playing games, eating dumplings and chapjae, and making kites.

Here are a few photos from the day:

my class (and wonderful korean co-teacher) wearing hanboks to celebrate the new year. getting everyone to smile for this picture wasn't the easiest thing i've ever tried. and i obviously didn't succeed.

my aspiring artist, olivia, showing off her cute smile and dress.

playing a traditional korean game.

jiwoo... my little genius. today we spent almost thirty minutes devising a plan to publish and market his latest mystery novel. i am the editor and was promised $20 upon the book's release. he is six and amazes me everyday. is it wrong for a teacher to have favorites? if not, he is mine.

the kids learning to properly bow for their grandparents.

새해 복 많이 받으세요!

happy valentine's day!

2010-02-14T05:26:00.000-08:00

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." -1 Corinthians 13:1-8

favorite foods.

2010-02-14T00:37:00.000-08:00

I love Korean food. I love the spicy flavors, fresh vegetables, and perfectly marinated meats. I love the taste of kimchi and the texture of squid. And I've even developed a love for the different varieties of rice. Food is perhaps the one thing I will miss most when I leave this Asian peninsula next week. I could be wrong, but I don't remember having so many healthy choices in America.

A few photos of my favorite meals:

dolsot bibimbap. vegetables and rice mixed together with a spicy sauce and served in a steaming hot bowl. my #1 favorite!

donkasu. fried pork cutlet topped with sauce and served with rice.

kimchi jigae. spicy soup made with vegetables, kimchi, and tofu. eaten with rice.

fried "pancake" made with vegetables and squid. yummm.

sam bap. BBQ pork wrapped in lettuce leaves.

kimchi and side dishes! served with every meal.

Bon Appétit!

caramel latte conversations.

2010-01-31T03:31:00.000-08:00

Coffee almost always taste better when accompanied by a good book, a moleskin journal, and a best friend.

james 2:14-26

2010-01-26T05:30:00.000-08:00

"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, 'Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."

I first posted this video almost two years ago and every time I watch it am reminded of the Jesus' command for us to love one another. Throughout the last two weeks I have seen painful images of a nation destroyed. Children left orphaned. Family's desperate to find their loved ones. Bodies broken under collapsed buildings. Haiti, the poorest nation in the western hemisphere, has been shaken and destroyed. At times it seems like there is no justice in the world. Why are those already living in such extreme poverty forced to endure more heartache? Where is God is the midst of disaster and suffering? Why are some blessed with money and food and education while so many struggle without? My heart aches to find an answer.

I will not forget the people of Haiti who now live in makeshift tents and wake up each day to a painful reality. I will not forget the malnourished children that I talked and laughed with in Cambodia. I will not forget the crippled who were cast aside as beggars on the streets of China. I will not forget the victims of war with missing limbs that I walked past in Vietnam. I know without a doubt that I have been called to make a difference. I truly want to be the hands and feet of Christ in a broken world.

"Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead."

snowflakes on my lashes.

2010-01-11T06:09:00.000-08:00

This week was gray skies, jackets and scarves, Ugg boots, slippery sidewalks, walking through a snow-covered park, old friends reunited, darts and cocktails, running at the gym, New York City sweatshirts, coffee and music, best friend talks, thoughts of home, and hope for a new year.

my cute class.

2009-12-09T23:54:00.000-08:00

I am a kindergarten teacher. But even more surprisingly, I am a kindergarten teacher and I enjoy it. The transition from giving lectures to some of China's top university students during the first half of the year to working with six-year-olds wasn't easy. I have always preferred teaching older students to those that are younger... no whining, no time-out corner, and no pleading with them to learn. However, I can now honestly say that I look forward to seeing my thirteen Korean kids each day. I love their curiosity, the sound of their voices as we sing in the morning, the excitement that fills the room during craft time, the impossible to answer questions they often ask, and watching them learn new things. It also helps that they are brilliant students who speak near perfect English. I must be proof that people change.

A few photos of the kids I have grown to love:

dressed up for halloween.

cute girls.

hannah and the grasshopper she found at sky garden.

playing in the snow!

drinking hot chocolate, listening to christmas music, and making homemade cards!

singing christmas carols.

"Teaching is as sacred as priesthood, as innate a desire, as inescapable as the genius which compels a great artist. If he has not the concern for humanity, the love of living creatures, the vision of the priest and the artist, he must not teach."
- Pearl Buck

holiday in hong kong.

2009-10-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

Travel. Travel. Travel. Will it ever get old? Last week I boarded a plane bound for Hong Kong and set off to explore yet another city in the world. Although I have lived in China for over 1 1/2 years in total, I never made it to Hong Kong while I was on the mainland and have always been eager to check it out. It was so fun to walk down busy streets full of diverse people, roam through crowded shopping districts, eat delicious Cantonese food, spend time with wonderful friends, see the illuminated skyline at night, and just hang out in one of the most international and exciting cities in the world. I think I can now leave Asia without regrets of places left unseen.

A few photos from the trip:

drinking bubble tea with rob and eva. love it!

crowded streets.

cantonese women on a bicycle built for two.

lan kwai fong. the place to party in hong kong!

senada square in macau.

eating dimsum!

so many high end stores.

the skyline from on top of the peak!

"The plane a symbol of worldliness, carrying within itself a trace of all the lands it has crossed. Its eternal mobility offering an imaginative counterweight to feelings of stagnation and confinement." - Alain de Botton (The Art of Travel)

first train home i've got to get on it.

2009-09-26T04:19:00.000-07:00

I've been in love with this Imogen Heap song since buying the new album a few weeks ago. It pretty much plays on repeat. It also happens to nicely coincide with my current thoughts about travel, the future, and the idea of home.

"I want to get on with getting on with things. I want to run in fields, paint the kitchen, love someone. and I can't do any of that here, can I?"

home on the other side.

2009-09-21T07:04:00.002-07:00

A new job and another new apartment. This is where I now eat, sleep, read, watch TV, send emails, etc. My own little 9' x 10' home on the other side of the world.

Views from every angle:

"I long, as every human being does, to be at home wherever I find myself."
-Maya Angelou

island paradise.

2009-09-14T16:06:00.001-07:00

It was so nice to get away this past weekend and to leave the chaos of the city. As much as I love living in places like Beijing or Seoul where there is constant movement and people, it's good to experience the quieter side of life every once in awhile. So this weekend Eva and I went to her beautiful hometown, Wando. We read and talked and laid in the sun and listened to music and ate tons of delicious food (so much in fact that I've declared a fruit fast for myself during the remainder of the week) and drove all over the islands. I couldn't have asked for a more relaxing or fun two days. I am thankful for these beautiful escapes into paradise with a wonderful friend.

enjoying a sunny afternoon by the ocean.

playing in the sand.

the perfect place to read and write.

another view of the islands.

sunset over the city.

driving with the windows rolled down and sufjan on the ipod. perfection.

can't steal happiness.

2009-09-07T05:26:00.000-07:00

Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings, and once you have achieved happiness you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy though to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your in crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.

- Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat. Pray. Love.)

NBA in seoul.

2009-09-05T03:39:00.000-07:00

Today I watched former NBA players, coached by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, lose miserably to a Korean team. While it hurts my heart to know that any other country has the ability to beat America basketball players (no matter how old and out of shape they may be), it was a good afternoon. I love my friends, free tickets to sporting events, rowdy fans, and unexpected fun days in the city. And now I am even more excited about returning to Texas and watching my Dallas Mavericks in action.

there were actually more people at the game than appear to be in the picture. i guess most of the crowd was sitting on the other side of the court.

the weekend.

2009-08-23T03:35:00.001-07:00

Chicken and beer in the moonlight. Marc Jacobs fashion show on repeat. Much needed haircut. Forever 21. Jazz club and friendship. Reliving high school days on the Hongdae playground. Apple cinnamon hookah. Learning about obedience. Noodles in Sinsa. Good conversation. Playing with friends in the park. New movie night. So much laughter. I am blessed.

Happiness. Only real when shared.

sunset in the park.

2009-08-17T04:49:00.001-07:00

Last night I took a long walk through Olympic Park at sunset and just enjoyed the hot summer air as I thought about my return to the city. This has always been my favorite place in Seoul, and it still doesn't disappoint. I love coming to this park after a long day of work, running through the tree-lined paths, or just soaking up the vibrant surroundings on the patio at my favorite Coffee Bean cafe. I am happy to be in Korea again, but so much has changed... or maybe it's me. It's a strange feeling to to leave one job in Asia only to return to another country that still isn't your own. I am learning that life is full of unexpected journeys and I am anxious to see where it will take me next!

oh beijing.

2009-07-31T18:50:00.001-07:00

The last 6 months of life have been wonderful as I moved to Beijing, settled into an apartment in the city, worked at China University of Political Science and Law, made new friends, learned more about myself, and returned to Korea. Sadly, I haven't been able to update my blog regularly because of government Internet restrictions, but all of of that has changed now that I am in Seoul. Anyway... about China. It's hard to share an entire experience in only a few short sentences, so I'll just say that it was a great adventure. I will miss my apartment building filled with old people, riding to the subway station in a little green tuk-tuk, shopping at fake markets, teaching brilliant law students, watching illegal DVDs, dancing in Sanilitun, and spending time with people I care about. I am thankful for the journey.

A few photos from Beijing:

me and g-ragland's living room.

my bedroom.

my sister at tiananmen square.

the great wall of china at simatai.

camping trip on the great wall!

eating german food with my favorite german.

the 2008 olympic bird nest.

I think I will always love China.

hosanna!

2009-04-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

"He is not here. He has been raised, just as he said. Come and see the place where he was lying." -Matthew 28:6

the day the angels sang.

2009-03-17T02:52:00.000-07:00

Today a woman that I deeply love and admire slipped away from this earth and went home to be with her Father. My Nana will forever be one of the greatest roles models in my life and I am so thankful for the 25 years of memories together that now flood my mind. Cancer may have taken her body, but I know without a doubt that her soul now rest with Jesus.

Nana taught me so many invaluable lessons about life and love that I will remember forever. I have never known another woman so devoted to Christ or more determined to teach her children and grandchildren about the importance of living whole-heartedly for Him. Perhaps her greatest legacy will be the example that she set for us all. Not a single visit passed that she didn't ask me about my faith or encourage me with scripture. I have felt her prayers and love for me since the moment I was old enough to understand. I can only hope to one day have the faith the she lived and breathed every day of her life. In addition, she was one of the most selfless people I have ever known. When a person was in need, she was there to help. She made people feel like the most important person in the room at any given time. She deeply understood Jesus' command to "love one another." Not only did she care about those she didn't know, but the love she shared with my grandfather transcends anything that is of this world. Their marriage, which has always been centered on Christ, serves as an example that I hope to one day be lucky enough to follow.

I already miss so many things about her. The way she sang and danced to silly hymns to make us laugh, the shopping trips we took together every summer, the thousands of collections and knick-knacks that filled her home, the smell of her silver Cadillac, her closet full of clothes and shoes, "putting on our faces" together in her bathroom, the Christmas packages I received while living far away- one present to open each day of December until Christmas, the dozens of dresses that she made my sister and I when we were just little girls, the smell of her perfume, the way she proudly introduced me to her friends at church, the way I could talk to her so openly about about boys and relationships and anything else that was on my mind, the marked-up Bible sitting next to her chair that she read in full so many times, the way we gathered around her at Christmas as she read the story of Jesus' birth, the excitement and care in her voice every time I called, the way that she loved my grandpa. I miss her so much it hurts. However, I find comfort in knowing that she is in a place where there is no suffering. I have full confidence that today she is praising Jesus in heaven. I cry now only because I miss her, but rejoice because she has returned Home.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him." -Psalm 62:5

paradise found.

2009-02-24T00:18:00.000-08:00

There aren’t enough adjectives to adequately describe the beauty of Boracay Island. This laid-back stretch of beach felt like a piece of heaven, especially in comparison to the rest of our travels. We came with the intention of staying only 7 days and then traveling to other islands throughout the Philippines, but soon found it impossible to leave. So for the next 2 weeks we spent nearly every afternoon laying on white sand beaches, drinking mango smoothies in the sun, exploring the island on the back of a moped, sailing and snorkeling, and meeting other travelers from around the world. My time in the Philippines was more fun than I ever anticipated and I am so thankful to have seen this part of the world.

sunset. my favorite time of the day.

grant, nicole and i enjoying an italian dinner on the beach.

boracay's white sand beach.

Journal entry from Boracay:
“I HAVE LANDED IN PARADISE.” Boracay Island must be one of the most beautiful places on earth. After traveling through India for a few weeks it became hard to imagine that a place so laid-back and beautiful actually does exist. This morning I woke up in our quiet little hotel room surrounded by flowers and trees and went for a long walk along the beach. I had every intention of listening to music while soaking up the morning sun, but the sound of the ocean crashing along the shore was too beautiful to drown out. I love it here. This island really is one of the most serene and picturesque places I have ever traveled. Right now I am sitting at a beach side café drinking an iced latte and watching tourist pass by. From where I sit I can see palm trees stretching into the bright blue sky and clear turquoise water in the near distance. My only plan for the afternoon is to tan by the beach and drink a smoothie, and tonight I hope to go out and meet some other travelers. The living is easy. Life is good. I wish my family and friends could see this paradise with their own eyes because photos will never do it justice.

main street.

one of many amazing sand castles built along the water's edge.

this is what $22 a night will get you in the philippines.

another photo of the beautiful beach.

the view from my favorite massage parlor. $6 an hour for a full-body massage.

nicole and grant parasailing! i was too scared to go, so i became the official picture taker.

Next stop: Beijing, China...my new home!

three days in manila.

2009-02-24T00:11:00.000-08:00

When we started traveling in January I never imagined that we would end up in the Philippines. But after enduring the food poisoning and filth of India, and then escaping through Southeast Asia, it seemed like the only logical place to spend the remainder of our vacation. It was definitely a good decision. I have been to beaches around the world but have never found islands as beautiful as those in the Philippines.

After spending 3 days in sunny Singapore we caught a flight to Manila and spent a few days touring Intramuros and the area along the bay, indulging in $7 massages, window shopping in some of the city’s most fashionable malls, and preparing for our next destination. Manila was an interesting place to explore but all of us were more than ready to relax on Boracay Island’s white sand beaches. So a few days later we boarded a 60-passenger airplane (one of the scariest rides of my life) and landed in paradise.

Photos from Manila:

intramuros. the old, walled section of the city.

view of manila bay.

the smallest plane i never hope to ride again. nicole actually screamed when the plane hit the ground upon landing.

Next stop: Boracay Island.

singapore!

2009-01-27T09:03:00.000-08:00

It took a 45-hour train ride, 2 nights in Bangalore, and an overnight flight to Southeast Asia to escape India, but we have arrived in Singapore!

The sky is blue. The sun is shinning. Flowers and trees line the sidewalks. Arriving in Singapore was such a shock after having spent the last 3 weeks in India. There are no beggars on the streets, no dirty cows, no urine-stained sidewalks, no women dressed in sarees, and no pollution hovering over the city. Everything here is so clean and beautiful. I spent most of the afternoon today walking along Orchard Street past professional looking people and high-end retail stores such as Versace, Gucci, and Chanel. It's hard to believe that such drastically different countries even exist on the same planet. I am thankful to have traveled through parts of India and never want to forget the things I have seen, but I'm so happy to now be in Singapore. I love hearing the many languages spoken as I pass people on the subway. I love feeling the light breeze that cools the air. I love the sunshine. It's hard to really wrap my mind around my location in the world now. A few years ago I never imagined that I would have traveled so much of Asia or become so content on this side of the world. I am thankful for where life has taken me.

A few photos from Singapore:

sleepy sam's hostel near arab street where we stayed for 3 nights.

the mosque just meters away from our hostel.

chinatown!

the famous raffles hotel where we splurged for a $20 cocktail.

downtown singapore at sunset.

Next stop: The Philippines.

the escape.

2009-01-24T06:19:00.000-08:00

After moving from one city to another and always hoping for something better in the next, we finally gave up on India. I thought I was prepared for the cows and poverty and massive amounts of people after having lived in China and traveled through much of Southeast Asia, but nothing compares. We are tired of fighting against India and are ready for a more relaxing vacation. Perhaps I will return one day to backpack the south, but now it's on to Singapore! I couldn't be more excited.

death and reincarnation in varanasi.

2009-01-24T06:17:00.000-08:00

I don't think that anything could have adequately prepared me for Varanasi. Before arriving in the city I knew a little bit about the Hindu belief in the cleansing power of the Ganges River, but I never gave serious thought to the rituals performed there. During our second afternoon in the city we went for a long stroll along the river hoping to gain a greater understanding of the religion. It is believed that the Ganges River has the ability to wipe away sin and because of this we saw many men, women, and children bathing in the dark, filthy water. It is also believed that any Hindu that dies in Varanasi will escape the cycle of reincarnation. Therefore, many people come to the city to die. All along the river bank we saw men carrying the dead on bamboo stretchers into the sacred Ganges to wash them of their sins before being cremated on nearby fires. I have never seen so much death. It was an interesting and hard experience, to say the least. I will never forget the images of that day.

Journal entry from Varanasi:

“I am floating along the Ganges River now. We just passed a large cremation sight where hundreds of men are busily gathering wood to burn those who have recently died in Varanasi. All of the corpses are carefully wrapped in orange silk, placed on a bamboo stretcher, and carried to the river’s edge to be splashed with water, and therefore cleansed of all sin, before being cremated. Death is everywhere. In a matter of hours I have seen dozens of dead bodies waiting to be burned. Smoke fills the air as bodies leave this world and escape reincarnation, as the Hindus believe. A few minutes ago we stopped in front of a deceased man awaiting his cremation. We witnessed his young daughter turn the corner and see her father for the last time. First she screamed and then a steady wailing filled the air. I felt like I was invading on a private and sacred moment- I had to turn my head away. Here in Varanasi death is a part of everyday life. People bathe in the Ganges River to rid themselves of sin and hope to die here to escape the cycle of reincarnation. It seems like such a silly ritual to me, but we all have our beliefs. My heart is aching now for the girl who lost her father today. I can’t imagine the sense of fear and sadness that she must feel now. I don’t ever want to become so numb to the pain and suffering of others that I see their hurt and feel nothing. Death is everywhere in Varanasi.”

boat ride down the ganges river.

bathing in the holy water.

boats along the river.

one of the cremation sights at the ganges river.

Next stop: Bangalore.

i no longer like india.

2009-01-24T06:16:00.000-08:00

The moment it all changed.

Journal entry following a 15-hour train ride in India:

"Last night I felt so gross that I actually blew my nose into a bed sheet before covering up with it to sleep. My head is congested and achy, my nose wont stop running, and my stomach is turning at the thought of eating any more curry. It’s official- I no longer like India. We took a 2nd class sleeper from Agra to Varanasi and arrived the following afternoon completely tired and dirty. I thought I could handle nearly anything after taking so many 4th class train rides in China, but nothing prepared me for India. The train station in Agra was dark and crowded. The platforms were covered in a thick layer of dirt and garbage. Men wearing white turbans pushed and shoved to be the first on the train when it arrived while guards carrying rifles patrolled the area. And it only got worse once on board. Because we are traveling with so much luggage it was a struggle to find a place for everything. People were moving up and down the train car as we shoved our 50 pound bags under the seats. I’m not sure I can ever endure another train ride in India after this terrible experience. I have tried so hard to remain positive during the last week but this country is slowly killing me. The pollution is making it nearly impossible to breathe and it feels like I now have dirt permanently embedded on the bottoms of my feet. This really isn’t what I had in mind when coming to India. I wish that I could write home and share wonderful stories about the country but right now I feel nothing…except the need to escape.”

afternoon at the taj mahal.

2009-01-24T06:15:00.000-08:00

I almost had to catch my breath the moment I turned the corner and saw the Taj Mahal for the first time. As soon as we entered the grounds everything seemed calmer as no one hassled us to buy postcards or begged for rupees. Grant, Nicole, and I spent nearly 2 hours taking pictures in front of the Taj, sitting on a park bench under the afternoon sun, and exploring the surrounding area. Now I understand why so many people travel halfway around the world to see this beautiful monument. It was an incredible experience that I will remember forever.

approaching the taj mahal.

my favorite place in india.

me and grant. our favorite pose.

udaipur and pushkar.

2009-01-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

The next stops during our tour of Rajasthan were in the cities of Udaipur and Pushkar. Here we saw even more camels and cows, strolled through crowded bazaars, had our hands painted with henna, photographed temples and people, and enjoyed lazy evenings eating at western cafés.

Journal entry from Udaipur:

“It is a peaceful morning in Udaipur. I was woken up by the sound of birds chirping near the window while the Islamic call to prayer echoed in the distance. I love the stillness of a new day. The streets are near empty and a light fog hangs over the city. Now I am sitting on our hotel balcony enjoying a cup of chai tea and a few slices of bread. From where I sit I can women washing their colorful saris in the lake as cows lazily stroll along the water’s edge. We arrived here yesterday evening and already this place is my favorite in Rajasthan. The large window in our hotel overlooks the serene lake and an old maharaja palace sits in the distance. It’s possible to navigate this city on foot so last night we walked and walked through narrow streets lined with souvenir shops and restaurants. We ate pizza and curry at a trendy café over-looking the illuminated city. The view from above Udaipur was what I had in mind before coming to India. I feel like I have landed in a place that must have been paradise a few centuries ago.”

an early morning in udaipur.

another view of the lake.

fruit vendor weighing her produce.

camel ride in pushkar.

Next stop: Agra.

crowds, camels, and cows.

2009-01-24T06:13:00.000-08:00

While in New Delhi we talked with several other tourists and learned that the easiest way to travel the western state of Rajasthan was by hiring a private driver. So after a little negotiating with a local travel agent we booked a 12-day, all-inclusive tour and our journey through India officially began.

Journal entries from Jaipur:

“Another day in India. I just finished a dinner of chicken curry and naan on a rooftop terrace over-looking Jaipur after an interesting day in the city. It is so hard to find the right words to describe this country. There is so much movement and chaos that I can hardly think straight. This morning we arrived in Rajasthan after a 5-hour ride through the polluted countryside. I feel really far away from home. This part of India is home to camels and cows and gypsies and rickshaws and men that look like ancient nomads. I expected Jaipur to be more relaxing that Delhi, but it also never seems to sleep. It has been a bit hard to feel at peace here because the city is a constant whirlwind of activity, but I know this experience is helping me to more deeply understand the world. I have never seen so much poverty. People here literally have nothing. Every time our car stops women and children crowd around us begging for a few rupees. People are dirty beyong anything I have ever seen before. How can I ever complain about going 2 days without a shower again when some children look like they haven’t bathed in their entire lifetime? It’s a strange feeling to be 25 years old, traveling the world, and witnessing poverty from the outside. I will never understand what it feels like to sleep on the street, to walk on dirt roads without shoes, or go even one day without food. Traveling India has already been much harder and less relaxing than I expected, but I love the things I am learning. If I want to truly make a difference in the world then I need to be out among the people, not watching life happen from the comfort of an air-conditioned car. I know that I always have the option of returning to the luxuries of America, so for now I want to find contentment in the chaos of India.”

i love indian saris. and i love people that smile.

indian women talking on the steps at the monkey temple in jaipur.

snake charmers and their cobra.

“The weather is perfect…blue sky, sunny, and cool. I love this moment. Today is so much better than the ones before and I can finally say that I am falling in love with India. Maybe it’s only natural for change to take time. The first few days were hard for all of us. The congested cities, the pollution, the poverty. But now I am sitting on a bench outside of the royal palace in Rajasthan on this beautiful day. The colors here are so vibrant. Yellow, hot pink, blue, orange, and purple-jeweled saris contrast against the pale walls of the palace. Elephants pass through arched entryways carrying tourists from all parts of the world. A beautiful Indian girl just peered over my shoulder and asked what I was writing. I love the boldness and curiosity of the people. Traveling always presents the most unexpected moments. I am thankful for this experience.”

the royal palace in jaipur.

the orange turban.

Next stop: Udaipur and Pushkar.

arrival in new delhi.

2009-01-24T05:53:00.000-08:00

I did a bit of reading about India before the trip and learned from numerous sources that it is often known for being a land of contradictions. Supposedly in India you find the best and worst of everything. Therefore, I shouldn’t have been surprised when our flight was delayed by almost an entire day, we made two additional stopovers in both Dubai and Amsterdam, and arrived in New Delhi after 48 hours of continuous travel without luggage. However, the best of India came shortly after when I stepped out of the airport and saw the country for the first time. I wasn’t prepared to see men walking the streets with turbans piled onto their heads, women wrapped in brightly colored saris, cows freely roaming the streets, etc. Everything looked so mysterious and exotic. The first few moments in a new country are always some of the best, in my opinion.

Shortly after arriving at our hostel Grant and I met our German friend, Nicole, and we found a somewhat quiet place to catch up over a cup of chai tea. It was so good to be reunited and traveling together again after 2 years apart. Our first night in India was spent adjusting to the noise and pollution of the city, trying authentic Indian food for the first time, and resting. All of us were exhausted from having traveled halfway around the world. The next morning we woke up fairly early and set out to explore New Delhi. We walked up and down busy streets home to barefoot beggars and curry restaurants. We dodged cows and pushy vendors and tuk-tuks that were driving on the “wrong” side of the road. And during this first day I became convinced that no experience in life could have adequately prepared me for India. If I had to sum up the entire country into one word it would be this: Chaos.

It only took us one full day in New Delhi to be sure that we didn’t want to stay any longer. After only 24 hours my lungs were working overtime and my head ached from the noise and pollution. So the following morning we packed our bags, hired a driver, and set of to explore the western state of Rajasthan where we hoped to find a bit more peace and quiet.

A few photos from the city:

almost every man in northern india is dressed this way.

indian traffic.

travelers between delhi and rajasthan.

typical street vendor in delhi.

Next stop: Jaipur.

india bound.

2009-01-05T06:27:00.000-08:00

The iconic photo that will be taken in front of monuments throughout the world.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up early, pack last-minute items into my suitcase, drive to the airport, and board a plane bound for New Delhi. It's hard to believe that the moment has arrived. During the next 7 weeks I will be backpacking India, Singapore, and Maldives before beginning a new teaching job in Beijing. I am so excited about exploring chaotic cities, touring ancient ruins, photographing exotic people and landscapes, and meeting other travelers on the backpacker's trail. My two close friends, Grant and Nicole, will be joining me. Grant and I first met in college but became good friends almost three years ago while we were both living in China. We then met Nicole (aka. our favorite German hippie!) during a backpacking trip through Southeast Asia. I know it is going to be an experience of a lifetime for all of us and I am so excited about sharing the journey with good friends.

Check back regularly as I will be updating my blog during the trip!

a new year.

2009-01-03T10:44:00.000-08:00

It seems so surreal that another year has already begun and now 2008 remains nothing more than a memory of the past. I haven’t given the change much thought, probably because my New Year's Eve was relatively uneventful and nothing out of the ordinary, but the other day I was sitting in the living room watching the news and thought about all the stories that will flash across the screen in the next year. It’s crazy how quickly life changes and current events become nothing more that a part of history. I don’t have any idea what's in store for the next 365 days, but I know I will do everything possible to find joy, contentment, love, and adventure. I will not settle for anything less.

A friend of mine sent me an email the other day recapping this last year of his life, and it caused me to reflect on the moments I’ve been lucky enough to enjoy. The last 12 months have been a whirlwind of experiences and sometimes I still can’t believe it was me in all of the moments that fill my head. I remember dancing the night away at a club in Seoul on December 31, 2007 and looking around in amazement at the dozens of nations represented in a single room. I remember my first snowboarding trip in the mountains of Korea and spending hours in a heated pool taking underwater pictures with friends outside of our condo. I remember the numerous mornings I woke up early and rode my bike to Olympic Park where I would then sit and write and read for a couple of hours before work. I remember long runs on the treadmill at the gym overlooking the busy streets below. I remember visiting Eva's hometown, meeting her family, and feeling so grateful to have found true friendship on the other side of the world. I remember boarding a plane to Malaysia all alone and wondering if I was capable of traveling to new countries on my own. I remember dinners with friends, teaching young Korean children, shopping in the city, and riding a taxi home at night while looking out over the illuminated Seoul skyline. I feel like I have learned so much about myself during this last year. I haven’t always made good decisions, and haven’t always followed my heart, but I have lived. I have experienced incredible moments of joy that outweigh everything negative. Life changes so quickly. In one year I went from dancing the night away in an Asian club on New Year’s Eve, to a quiet evening at home in the suburbs. In many ways the change has been hard but I know it’s the only way we grow. I am thankful for the journey that life has taken me on and am even more thankful that it brought me home to my family once again.

This last year has been one of the best, and I have nothing but hope for a memorable 2009.

life as i know it.

2008-12-17T15:38:00.000-08:00

This week was gray skies, India books, Ugg boots, running at the gym, old friends reunited, movies with family, homemade cookies, christmas decorations, overdue emails, Galleria shopping, hot apple cider, photo editing, icy roads, thoughts of Asia, and reaching a state of contentment.

a reason to give thanks.

2008-11-29T19:19:00.000-08:00

One of the things I love most about Thanksgiving is the opporunity it gives to pause and reflect on life's blessings. The things I am thankful for are too numerous to list in full, but a few of them include: my mom, dad, brother, and sister, parents that encourage me to follow my dreams, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, being an American citizen, a warm house, food, a well-paying job, good health, music, books, the opportunity to travel the world, fun memories, good friends in Asia, my best friend in the solar system, bicycles, coffee shops, my journal, freedom, photography, shoes, changing seasons, laughter, faith, the many wonderful people that have been a part of my life during the last 2 years, sunshine, exotic islands, airplanes, and a loving God who has blessed me with so much more than I deserve.

This Thanksgiving season meant more to me than ever before because it has been 3 years since I last celebrated it with family. Although I made many wonderful friends while living overseas, nothing compares to spending the holidays with people who love you unconditionally. I had a great time eating turkey and pie, sharing stories and photos from my last year in Korea, and seeing all of my relatives again. I am so thankful for my family and this time we have together before I return to Asia. I am blessed.

my mom's side of the family at the lakehouse. all 24 of us!

dad, sister, brother, me, and mom on thanksgiving day.

we celebrated with my dad's family too, but unfortunately i don't have any photos to share.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

live octopus.

2008-11-29T19:15:00.000-08:00

This video was taken a few months ago when I still lived in Seoul, but I thought it was worthy of a blog post. One night a few of my friends went out for live octopus at a small restaurant in our neighborhood. It was hard to pick up the octopus legs with chopsticks because they kept moving, and when you finally got one into your mouth you had to chew quickly so that they wouldn't suction to your tongue. It was definitely an interetesting meal that I wouldn't mind having again. When I first moved to Asia 2 years ago I hardly ever ate meat...and now this. People change!

first impressions.

2008-11-18T18:31:00.000-08:00

A week and a half ago I said a tearful goodbye to wonderful friends who have greatly influenced this last year of my life and boarded a plane for America. Although I have been "home" for a few days I am still in a state of culture shock. Everything is so much different than I remember, or maybe this last year in Seoul has changed me in ways that I am only just now discovering. Anderson Cooper once wrote about his travels by saying, "The longer you are gone, the harder it is to return." America has been my home for the last 23 years but the longer I stay in Asia the more disconnected I feel upon returning. During these last few days I have felt like an alien walking in a foreign land... moving from point A to B but not knowing how I got there. Only lately are things beginning to make more sense as I try to take things one day at a time. Leaving South Korea was one of the hardest moves I have ever made because I miss the life and friends that I left behind so much more than can be expressed in words. I am so thankful for last 14 months that were spent in Seoul. I think it was one of the most formative and exciting experiences in my life thus far. But now that I am in America I want to do everything I can to take advantage of this time with my family and friends before returning to Asia. I don't want to spend my time here dwelling on past memories or disoriented by the American way of life that now feels foreign. I know that the future is full of opportunites to travel, explore, and learn and I am excited to see where life leads. Despite the frequent feelings of sadness and confusion, I will find reason to rejoice!

First impressions upon returning to America:

- The pace of life. After living in a big city like Seoul the American suburbs seem like such a lonely place with their big houses and fenced yards. Everyday I find myself longing to return to a place full of streetside cafes, crowded shopping districts, and busy subways. I miss the constant movement of the city.

- The people. For the last 2 1/2 years I have been surrounded by thin, well-dressed Asians with black hair and almond shaped eyes. Although people are all unique in thier own way, they have the same defining features. Now I find myself in a place where everyone looks drastically different. I can't help but stare at the strange looking, oddly shaped men and women of various colors and sizes that I encouter throughout the day. We are a strange looking race (myself included). Now I understand why so many guys are attracted to Asian women... I would be too!

- The sky. I love the saying that everything is bigger in Texas, and it's true! I love driving along the highway and watching the sunset stretch across the earth. I haven't seen a sky this big, or blue, in a long time.

- The culture. Upon returning to America I have been trying to find something that defines this country. I never realized how diverse our nation is until I began traveling. In America it's not uncommon to see people from many different countries in a single day, or to eat Chinese food for dinner one night and Mexican the next. But in some ways I think this "melting pot" society has erased all uniqueness and left us without our own culture. One of the things I love about Asia is the distinct differences between thier way of life and my own... using chopsicks, eating rice at every meal, bowing to say hello, taking your shoes off in someone's home, practicing tae kwon do, etc. I am on a quest to discover what defines America.

final thoughts.

2008-11-03T23:09:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful fall day in Korea and I've been wandering the streets of Seoul for the last few hours. Work is finished, I have moved out of my apartment, and the return to America is only days away. It's a strange feeling to walk around the city that has been home for the last 14 months and to know you are possibly looking at everything for the final time. Today I feel like the most blessed person on earth as I reflect on the wonderful memories made throughout this last year. One person doesn't deserve so much. I am so thankful to have worked at a school that was organized and efficient and genuinely cared for its teachers. I am thankful to have been given a nice apartment in a beautiful neighborhood that felt like home. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to travel to so many places in Korea and throughout Asia during the last year. And above all, I am thankful for the friendships that were developed here. When I moved to Seoul last August I never imagined I'd find such wonderful people to share the experience with. None of this would have been nearly as fun, or as memorable, if it weren't for my friends that now feel more like family. My mind is flooded with thoughts of nights spent dancing until 4 am in Hongdae, mornings spent talking over a cup of coffee in Olympic Park, bike riding through the neighborhood, playing charades on a love motel bed, shopping with the girls in our favorite areas of the city, learning to snowboard during the cold winter, taking weekend trips to the beach, teaching beautiful Korean children English, developing deep friendships with people from all parts of the world, etc. The incredible moments I've been lucky enough to experience are too numerous to list. I am immensely grateful for this last year of life.

I am trying hard to remain joyful as I reflect on my time in Korea, although a part of me feels sad to leave it all behind. I already anticipate the ache in the pit of my stomach when the plane departs Seoul on Sunday morning. I know this will be the hardest move yet, but I feel confident that life will work out exactly as it is supposed to. As I sit next to the window now in this quiet coffee shop over-looking the streets of Insadong I can see red and yellow and orange leaves float to the ground outside. The changing seasons remind me of God's consistent love. Every year spring fades to summer, and summer to fall, because He directs the movement of the entire world. In the same way, I know God is in control of my life and I have faith that He will never lead me towards something new without having a greater purpose. I constantly wonder if leaving the home I've created in Korea is the right desicion, but I can't deny the pull I feel towards China. Although sad about ending this season in my life, I am excited to return to the country where my love affair with Asia first began. There is so much in store for the future and I eagerly aniticpate the start of something new. Goodbye Korea...

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become." -unknown

home on the other side.

2008-10-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

Today I miss this house and the people who live inside.

It's hard to believe that I will return to America in 22 days. It doesn't seem real.

happiness is...

2008-10-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

Trips to beautiful beaches (Wando and Busan) with great friends.

Dongjip wars that never end.

Train rides to new cities.

American Apparel v-necks and Uniqlo hoodies.

Pot luck dinners and charades.

Spending time with a certain Korean-American.

City-wide scavenger hunts in the rain.

Watching indie films at the Busan International Film Festival.

Cheesy love motels with flowered wallpaper and Thomas Kincade window shades.

Inspring/encouraging emails from my best friend in the solar system.

Jogging along the Han River at night.

Hookah bars and mexican food in Gangnam.

Sitting at a coffee shop and drinking a latte while writing in my journal.

Reading a book about India and knowing that I'll be there soon.

Thinking about Christmas in America for the first time in 3 years.

Fall weather.

Enjoying every moment in Seoul before time runs out.

happy korean thanksgiving!

2008-09-25T05:35:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago Korea celebrated one of its most important holidays, Chusok. In honor of the day, the students at school dressed in Hanboks and played traditional Korean games. It was so much fun to see all of my little kindergarten kids looking nice in their brightly colored clothes representative of their culture. Here are a few photos from the day:

playing a korean stick tossing game. i didn't quite understand the concept.

i sincerely hope that someday i have a little asian girl whose eyes completely close when she smiles.

claire and her red dress.

charlie. the ladies' man.

a few of the girls.

Check out my Flickr site to see more photos from Chusok!

bali, indonesia: ubud.

2008-09-09T06:23:00.000-07:00

I haven’t been updating my blog very frequently, and although the contents of this post are in the past, I’d still like to share some photos and journal entries from one of the most fascinating places I’ve ever traveled in Southeast Asia. During my weeklong holiday in Bali, Indonesia I spent some time near the center of the island in a little village called Ubud. The moment my rickety old bus arrived in this laid-back town situated in the middle of rice paddies that stretch on as far as the eye can see in every direction, I knew I was somewhere incredible. In Ubud monkeys roam freely…. they jump across rooftops, eat leftover prayer offerings in front of homes and stores, and eagerly wait for willing tourists to feed them in the Monkey Forest Sanctuary. Women dress in traditional sarongs with a single white strip of cloth tied across their foreheads. Men navigate the roads by moped while wearing Balinese wraps around their waist and bandana-like cloth piled on their heads. Cafés, massage parlors, temples, and souvenir shops line the streets. The entire place is rich with culture and beauty. I’ve always heard that in Ubud you need a new adjective to describe the word green, and I found that to be true. The rice paddies and trees and plants surrounding the village seemed to explode into every imaginable shade in the spectrum. I have never seen a place so beautiful and exotic. The few days I spent in Ubud were some of the most relaxing and peaceful I’ve ever experienced. I already look forward to returning one day.

balinese boys posing for a photo.

hard at work in the rice paddies.

one of hundreds.

“Ubud. There are no words to adequately describe the beauty of this place. I woke up this morning in a quiet cottage surrounded by lush vegetation and rice paddies. I ate banana pancakes by the hotel pool, and now I am laying here just enjoying the morning. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to read. I don’t even want to meet other tourists. I just want to lay here next to flowers and fountains and soak up every ounce of my surroundings. I have landed in a village of fairy tales. This moment can’t be real. Last night after eating dinner at a street side café I watched a traditional Balinese Kecak dance performed at a nearby temple. It was fascinating to hear dozens of men make music with only their lips…a kind of clicking sound. Ornately dressed men and women danced around a central fire while acting out a story passed on through the generations. An incredible night.

It’s afternoon now and I can easily say that this has been one of the most unique and interesting days of my life. I decided to take a walk this morning through some of the nearby rice fields, and unable to follow a map, ended up in a village far away from Ubud. I have no idea where I was, but ended up making friends with a nice Balinese guy about my age who was working at his family’s art gallery. After talking for a while, I boldly asked if he’d be willing to take me to explore the rice paddies. And that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 2 hours. Right now I am sitting on the ledge of what must be one of the most spectacular places on the island- and maybe in the world. Terraced rice paddies fill the valley below, palm trees stretch into the sky, and men with baskets hanging on poles across their shoulders work in the fields. Green. Everything is green. I can’t get enough of this place. This morning I woke up without a plan for the day, and now I am here. Travel always brings the most unexpected moments. I love the people that you meet along the way and the kind natives who are eager to share their country. Today I can’t stop smiling. I am so thankful.” – July 31, 2008

terraced rice paddies.

monkey forest sanctuary.

my hotel pool. paradise.

“CONTENTMENT. It’s the only word that does justice to my feelings now. How can anyone ever return to “normal” life after experiencing a place like Bali? I’ve only been in Ubud for 2 days, but they have been some of the most incredible I’ve ever experienced. I’ve spent mornings tanning by a pool set in a lush garden, an afternoon whizzing through rice fields and villages on the back of a moped, an evening getting a relaxing massage, and a night watching Balinese dances at historic temples. It doesn’t seem fair that one person should be allowed to experience so much joy. I feel on top of the world now. Last night I saw a traditional trance dance at the Ubud Palace in the center of town. The performance was incredible…a photographers dream. The men and women were all so ornately dressed in layers and layers of decorative silks and jewels. Their faces were covered in outrageous make-up. And their eyes… I’ve never seen eyes move so quickly or express so much emotion. I will never find the right worlds to tell my family and friends about this place. My dreams have come true here.” – August 1, 2008

traditional balinese dance.

trance dance at ubud palace.

kecak dance. (press the play button in the middle of the picture)

free falling.

2008-09-07T06:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon a few friends and I took the subway to the outskirts of Seoul to a park for bungee jumping. Last October when we were in the area everyone was brave enough to jump, except for me. Yesterday I was determined not to chicken out. I still can’t believe I let myself free fall from a 140 ft. platform trusting that a rope would catch me! Although it was one of the scariest moments of my life, I’d definitely do it again.

Here’s a short video clip from my jump:

across the border and into north korea.

2008-08-26T07:03:00.000-07:00

This weekend I visited a nation that remains shut off to most of the world. A place where rigid communist ideology pervades and the everyday movements of ordinary citizens are closely monitored. North Korea was unlike any place I have ever traveled, and I saw but only a glimpse of the country that is home to more than 30 million people.

I visited North Korea with a South Korean tour group, and from the moment we crossed the border along the demilitarized zone the differences between the divided peninsula were drastically apparent. In a matter of one hour I went from a country full of parks, shopping malls, well-dressed business people, and coffee shops to a city with few cars, stores, and restaurants. All day it felt like my eyes were playing tricks on me. Staring out of the bus window onto the desolate streets felt like watching a movie filmed 60 years prior. I kept blinking to make sure the scene on the other side of the glass was real. The few people walking or riding their bikes along the road were dressed in clothing reminiscent of 1940’s America…knee length pencil skirts, white blouses, dark-colored ill-fitting suits, flat brown loafers, and the occasional fancy hat. Every building looked the same…. made of concrete, square, no flowers or curtains in the window. Drab to say the least. North Korean military guards littered the streets as they monitored our every move. I have never been watched so closely. All day I couldn’t help but wonder what it must feel like to wake up every morning in a place where propaganda posters praising the suppressive communist dictator, Kim Jung Il, are plastered on billboards and windows. How does it feel to long for independence but to know that your chance for it might never arrive? This weekend I gained a new appreciation for my freedom.

I wish that I had more interesting photos from North Korea to post as I think the few below are a fairly inaccurate representation of the country. I was allowed to bring my camera on the trip, but the use of it was heavily monitored. All visitors were only allowed to photograph the “tourists traps” (as I prefer to call them) that we visited throughout the day. Therefore, my North Korea photo album consists mainly of beautifully restored temples and monuments, perfectly manicured parks and waterfall, and women wearing traditional Korean han-boks. While much of the North Korean countryside is beautiful and green and mountainous, I was not permitted to take photos of those places. Any chance of capturing a shot would have been shut down immediately by the North Koreans that accompanied us on the bus, or by the military guards that lined the streets. Regardless, images of the country will be ingrained in my memory forever.

A few photos from the north...

north korean military officials driving in front of an old office building. i was allowed to photograph this side of the street, but the opposite side was off-limits as it was under construction and might give the impression that the country is poor and undeveloped. crazy.

an old department store in the city of kaesong.

the infamous kim jung il.

holding a north korean postcard/piece of propoganda that I smuggled out of the country. shhh…don’t tell.

bali, indonesia: kuta beach.

2008-08-21T07:30:00.001-07:00

During my vacation to Southeast Asia I spent only 24 hours in Malaysia and then boarded a plane for Indonesia. As soon as I arrived at the airport in Bali I took a cab to my hotel on Poppies Lane II, threw down bags, and began to explore the area around Kuta Beach. It only took a few hours to appreciate the rich culture, beauty, and simplicity of the island. The next 3 days were spent lying in the sun, learning to surf, riding a moped along the coastline, shopping in alleyways lined with souvenirs, hanging out with Paul, reading books by the pool, enjoying western food at fancy restaurants, and exploring the city. I found that there are no dull moments in paradise.

this is what $20 a night will get you in indonesia.

the view from my hotel balcony and the place i ate banana pancakes every morning.

“I woke up fairly early this morning in a spacious hotel room with a balcony over-looking wing-tipped Balinese rooftops. I now feel rested and re-energized and ready to enjoy my surroundings. Everything is so beautiful here…the sky, the ocean, the people, the sounds. It’s too much to take in. I must be dreaming. This morning I sat on an oversized futon full of pillows at a street side café, drank rich balinese coffee, ate eggs and bacon, and watched the surfers tackle the morning waves. It’s easy to understand why so many people travel to Bali every year, and why many of them choose to never leave. The laid-back feel of this place is intoxicating. After breakfast I met up with Paul, a friend from Seoul who is also vacationing in Bali. We rented a moped and spent a couple of hours driving along the coastline to Seminyak and Legian. It felt amazing to whiz through neighborhoods and back streets lined with locally owned shops and restaurants and to see people in a more natural environment. This whole island seems to move so slowly. The culture shines through in everyday life. Outside of nearly every home and shop are prayer-offerings left for gods carefully crafted out of bamboo leaves and flowers. Temples are around nearly every corner. Tanned children play and run barefoot in the street. It doesn’t seem possible that a place like Bali can exist on the same earth as a fast-paced, consumer driven city like Manhattan or Tokyo. After our moped ride Paul and I ate dinner at a fancy, western-owned nightclub/outdoor restaurant and watched the sunset over the ocean. Following a meal of pasta and swordfish we enjoyed an hour-long foot massage that set us back $4. Now I am once again in my hotel room…clean, relaxed, and ready for bed. I love knowing that tomorrow when I wake up I will still be in paradise.” –July 28, 2008

kuta beach.

riding the waves.

packing up the boards for the day.

relaxing at sunset.

one of hundreds of women trying to sell junk on the beach.

bali is a surfer's paradise.

“It’s another simply perfect day on one of the world’s most beautiful islands. Nowhere to be and nothing to do. I spent a bit of time laying on the beach this morning and after feeling sufficiently tan for the day I wandered around Poppies Lane I in search of new dresses and postcards to send home. I am in Bali, Indonesia now. It’s still hard to believe. I am so far from home (both Texas and Korea) and I feel so perfectly content and happy. I just finished drinking a fruit smoothie made with pineapples, mangoes, and papayas and eating a chicken sandwich. I’m sitting on oversized cushions only feet away from the ocean. This place is pure bliss…I can’t say it enough. I don’t even know what to do with myself now. Take a nap? Read a book? Grab a cup of coffee? I love that these are the most difficult decisions that I face today. It’s only 4 pm now but already the sun is hanging lower in the sky. Life is moving more slowly as the day comes to an end. Just another day in paradise…”
–July 29, 2008

Next stop: Ubud, Indonesia

kuala lumpur, malaysia.

2008-08-17T04:34:00.000-07:00

This summer, during my weeklong holiday from work, I traveled back to the part of the world where I first experienced real culture, tradition, and diversity. A place that solidified my love of Asia. On July 26th I boarded a plane to Southeast Asia... although this time headed towards Malaysia and Indonesia. It was my first solo trip and one of my most incredible experiences to date.

“The moment is here. I am on an airplane headed towards Kuala Lumpur. It’s always a surreal feeling when the moment you have been dreaming about for so long finally arrives. My first solo adventure has begun and right now I feel so independent and strong. I know if I can do this I am capable of anything. I am convinced that few things are more beautiful or mysterious than seeing the world from an airplane window. It’s a strange feeling to be so high above the earth and to know that life is happening down below. As I stare out of the airplane window now I see nothing but miles of deep blue ocean and fluffy white clouds. Everything is so beautiful from way up here. There are few things in the world that are more satisfying to me than travel. I love knowing that in just a few hours I will step out into Malaysia- a new language, new people, and a culture that I know very little about. I can’t wait to explore. The adventure begins.” – July 26, 2008

china town.

traditional muslim dress.

the petronas towers at night.

cigarette and a smile.

“I woke up early this morning in my hot, sticky hostel room. That place is worth only the $3 a night I’m paying and not a penny more. I’ve only been in Kuala Lumpur for about 12 hours, but already I love this city. When I arrived last night I took the train from the airport to my hostel and randomly met a famous Malaysian actor/talk show host, Christien New, who helped me find my way around. Travel always presents the most unusual experiences. I reached Chinatown at about 8 pm, threw my backpack on my bed, and immediately set out to explore. I spent a few hours roaming around the night market, eating spicy noodles at a street side café, and wandering around the city in search of the Petronas Towers. Beautiful. There is no other word to describe those massive pieces of architecture that light up the night sky. I don’t know what’s in store for today…. all I really want to do is soak up every ounce of this city during the few hours I have left. I am awed by the diversity that surrounds me now. Two women just walked past dressed in jet-black saris that cover their bodies from head to toe. I’ve always heard that in Muslim countries the eyes are the most revealing part of the body as they are solely responsible for expressing emotion. I never realized how true that was until now. A group of teenage girls are sitting at a coffee shop across the street with heads properly covered in scarves. A barefoot monk wrapped in a bright orange robe just tried to hang me a prayer card. I am in “exotic” (based on my limited perspective of the world)…it feels so wonderful.” – July 27, 2008

Next stop: Bali, Indonesia

thoughts from a balcony in bali.

2008-07-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

Journal entry from July 29,2008- 9 am

A beautiful start to a new day. I'm sitting out on the balcony of my hotel room now. I just finished eating a banana pancake and fresh papaya and mangoes.I still have half a pot of thick, dark coffee beside me and I intend to sit here until it's finished. A young girl just placed a prayer offering near the statue in the garden area down below- I wonder what these offerings symbolize. The sky is full of white, fluffy clouds and the blue sky hasn't yet broken through. I love the view from here. As far as I can see in every direction there are orange and red and brown tiled Balinese rooftops. The top of each is decorated with ornate designs that sit upright like a crown on a king's head. There are trees everywhere- some with fruit, some with with blooming tropical flowers, some that stretch their palm leaves high into the air. A child just walked through the courtyard in the house next door. The family's clothes are hanging out to dry and they move back and forth in the morning breeze. I wonder what it's like to grow up in Bali surrounded by tourists and in a place that feels like summer everyday. I've only been here for 2 days, but already I understand why so many expats choose to call this place home. It's as close to perfection as I've ever seen. I am so thankful to be here...away from the fast-paced life of Seoul. I work in Korea, but I have come to Bali to live. To soak up life. To reflect. Sometimes I still don't understand why so many people choose to go through life without experiencing places like Indonesia, southern Thailand, Laos, etc. for themselves. I am bursting with happiness now. I am filled with contentment. There is nowhere in the world I'd rather be than on this Balinese balcony.

bali bound.

2008-07-25T05:05:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning at 9 am I'm leaving the Korean peninsula and boarding a plane to Southeast Asia! I'm so excited about spending the next few days laying on the beaches of Bali, Indonesia, soaking up the sunshine, getting daily massages, meeting new people, and trying to capture Balinese culture in photographs. It's my first solo-vacation and I'm a bit nervous, but mostly excited, about heading out into a new place on my own. Check back in a few weeks for photographs and stories from my travels!

Random photos of where I'll be for the next 8 days. Be jealous...

the demilitarized zone.

2008-07-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

This past weekend a few of my friends and I visited the most heavily fortified border in the world- the demilitarized zone (DMZ) between North and South Korea. I didn’t have many preconceptions about this area before visiting, and went into the trip thinking it would be nothing more than a good photo opportunity and a neat thing to write home about. However, I quickly felt the tension between the divided peninsula, and realized that I was standing in a place where intense conflict still exists. From the moment we arrived our group was given specific instructions from the American military guides to not take photographs of certain things, to be mindful of our actions, and to think about our conversation topics as we were most likely being spied on by the North Korean military. It was surreal to stand on a hill over-looking Kim Jung-Il’s oppressed nation, tour an old war tunnel, visit a United Nations boardroom that was literally divided down the middle between the North and South, see North Korean guards stare at our tour group with binoculars from across the border, and to learn more about the Korean War. It was such an interesting day...

taken during a slide presentation shown to help our group understand the situation between the two countries and the role the united nations plays in trying to promote reconciliation.

guarding the DMZ on a rainy saturday afternoon.

photo of a north korean guard looking at me, looking at him.
(taken with a telephoto lens).

commonly called "the bridge of no return." during the war korean people chose to take this path either north or south, thus determining where they would spend the remainder of their lives.

Next month I’ll actually be going INSIDE of North Korea to a small city named Kaesong. I realize it might not be the smartest trip I’ve ever signed up for, especially in light of the current situation (a South Korean tourist was shot and killed there last weekend), but I am so eager to see a place that remains shut off to much of the world. Should be interesting…

three hundred and sixty degrees: myeong-dong

2008-07-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

I was in Myeong-dong the other night for a friend's birthday and took a short video clip of the area. This is my favorite place to hang out in Seoul, and you can find me here at least once every weekend (although I usually visit during the day). I love the lights, the shopping, the people, the cheesy Korean music, the noise, the constant movement, the location of my favorite coffee shop high above the busy street, etc. It's enough to make a person crazy, but after living in over-populated China for a year I feel right at home. I love city life!

(sorry for the poor quality...it's hard to hold a camera above your head and turn around in a circle w/out shaking a bit!)

the beach. the mud. the friends.

2008-07-13T04:35:00.000-07:00

Every year the city of Boryeong brings in thousands of gallons of mud and dumps it at Daecheon Beach for their annual mud festival. The mud is dug up from nearby fields and is thought to be rich in minerals that are good for your skin. Thousands of people from across Korea attend this event each year and it proved to be one of the most dirty, fun weekends I've ever had.

About 20 of my friends boarded a bus early Saturday morning for the 2-hour trip from Seoul to Boryeong. We spent the entire weekend laying on the beach, covering ourselves in mud, playing dozens of mud events, and hanging out. The festival was also the largest gathering of foreigners I've seen since moving to Asia. The beach was literally covered with muddy Americans, Canadians, South Africans, etc. Who knew there were so many of us living in Korea? Everywhere you looked there were people painting themselves with thick, gray mud, wrestling in mud pits, getting dirty in the "mud jail," playing in mud baths, sliding down mud covered slides, and dancing to the music at a nearby stage. It was an incredible sight and so much fun!

Photos from the festival:

the central area near the beach.

mud-wrestling.

stuck in jail.

the stage. the beach. the dancing. so fun!

taken through a plastic bag so the camera wouldn't get dirty.

sarah. me. and eva looking statue-esque.

clean at last!

To read more about the event check out this site: http://mudfestival.or.kr/lang/en/index.jsp

therefore i travel.

2008-07-05T19:16:00.000-07:00

I found a brilliant book this past week while roaming through the travel section at the foreign book store. I am so inspired by the author's thoughts and wanted to share a few of my favorite quotes...

"If our lives are dominated by a search for happiness, then perhaps few activities reveal as much about the dynamics of this quest--in all its ardour and paradoxes--than our travels. They express, however inarticulately, an understanding of what life might be about, outside of the constraints of work and of the struggle for survival. Yet rarely are they considered to present philosophical problems-that is, issues requiring thought beyond the practical. We are inundated with advice on where to travel, but we hear little of why and how we should go, even though the art of travel seems naturally to sustain a number of question neither so simple nor so trivial, and whose study might in modes ways contribute to an understanding of what the greek philosophers beautifully termed eudaimonia, or "human flourishing."

"The plane a symbol of worldliness, carrying within itself a trace of all the lands it has crossed. Its eternal mobility offering an imaginative counterweight to feelings of stagnation and confinement."

"Journeys are the midwives of thought. Few places are more conducive to internal conversations than moving planes, ships, or trains. There is an almost quaint correlation between what is before our eyes and the thoughts we are able to have in our heads: large thoughts at times requiring large views, and new thought, new places. Introspective reflections that might otherwise be liable to stall are helped along by the flow of the landscape."

"If we find poetry in the service station and the motel, if we are drawn to the airport or the train carriage, it is perhaps because, despite their architectural compromises and discomforts, despite their garnish colours and harsh lighting, we implicity feel that these isolated places offer us a material setting for an alternative to the selfish ease, the habits and confinement of the ordinary, rooted world."

-Alain de Botton, The Art of Travel

R&R korean style.

2008-06-27T18:55:00.000-07:00

Those of you who know me well know that I am good at being productive throughout the day, and not so good at resting. That being said, I have run myself to the point of exhaustion lately and have been in desperate need of a chance to do nothing. This weekend I was determined to relax. Last night after work I took a taxi over to my favorite jimjilbang (찜질방) and spent the whole night laying in various saunas, getting a full-body massage, reading a travel book, and soaking in the bathhouse. Wonderful!

Jimjilbangs are a popular part of Korean culture and are a place that very few foreigners visit. Nearly every neighborhood in Seoul has one and they vary in the size and amenities offered. My favorite, located in Bangi Dong, is six stories high and has everthing from a bathhouse to workout facilities to massage tables to an abundance of sauna rooms. It's an excellent place to pamper yourself for a few hours.

As soon as you enter the jimjilbang and pay your 6,000 won ($6) entrance fee, you are given a key for storing your things in a locker, two small towels, and a pair of clothes reminiscent of a middle school gym uniform. Then, the men and women part ways to their locker rooms to shower and change. The women's locker room is very nice and has a concession table for buying drinks, snacks, shampoo, shower gel, mud masks, etc. There are also TVs hanging on the wall playing the evening news, massage tables, and rooms where you can get a full-body scrub. As soon as you find your assigned locker, you strip down and join the other hundred or so other naked women in the bathhouse. (Side note: After living in Korea for almost 10 months I am no longer afraid of nakedness. It's just a regular part of culture here to bathe in a public bath). All around the shower room there are dozens of friends and family members bathing each other's backs, carrying on with converstaion as if they were fully dressed, and little kids throwing cold water on one another. It's quite a scene. After showering, you are ready to soak in one of the pools. They have tubs that are scalding hot, temperate, frigid, full of salt-water, etc. Some baths have little fountains, some have powerful jets, some bubble. And in between your different baths, you can visit the steam room and sauna.

The fun doesn't stop there, though! Once you are clean, you put on the ill-fitting pink shirt and shorts provided by the jimjilbang and proceed to the common area to hang out with friends, sweat in one of the dozens of sauna rooms (salt saunas, mineral saunas, oxygenated rooms, ice rooms, and jade saunas...to name a few), eat dinner, watch a movie, check your email at the internet cafe, play games, or sleep. This is a very social place for many Koreans. Last night I opted to get an hour-long massage by a woman who found every muscle in my back, and then layed on the floor in the common area while sipping on a slushy rice drink and reading my new travel book. At about 10:30 pm I went into one of the sleeping rooms, crawled into one of the hundreds of little cave-like holes, and fell asleep. Jimjilbangs are typically open 24 hours so I took advantage of this and spent the night. I was too tired to go home and figured I was already so relaxed...why leave? I woke up at 9 am this morning feeling completely rested and ready to start my day. It was a wonderful night!

I think America has a thing or two to learn from the Koreans.

weekend in wando.

2008-06-23T00:57:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I traveled to Wando (a series of island at the southern tip of Korea) with one of my closest friends, Eva. She grew up in this beautiful city and invited me to come home with her for a couple of days. It was so much fun meeting her family, eating home-cooked Korean food, driving around the island listening to loud music with the windows rolled down, and seeing the place where she has lived for the last 24 years. It was also wonderful to get away from the busy city for awhile and to see a much more laid-back part of the penninsula. I am so lucky to have found such great friends on this side of the world!

The weekend in photos:

the 5 1/2 hour bus ride from seoul to wando. our ipods entertained us.

playing on the beach.

eva. her mom. george (her brother). eva's mom own a restaurant in wando so we ate GOOD all weekend long. here we are having kimchi, fried pork and dipping sauce, seaweed, and samgyeobsal.

a view of the ocean from the road. we spent most of our time on saturday driving around since it was rainy and dark outside. regardless of the weather, it was still beautiful!

the ocean at low tide. i wanted to tell this woman that she would never be able to empty her boat as long as it continued to rain.

church on sunday morning. they sang many songs that sounded familiar, however, i couldn't sing along because everything was in korean.

Wando is such a beautiful place to visit. I can't wait to return when the weather is sunny and warm!

my youngest students.

2008-06-17T18:29:00.000-07:00

Not only do I travel, explore Seoul, hang out with friends, and enjoy city life... I work, too. I realized the other day that I haven't said very much about my job, and wanted to write a quick blog post about my life during the week. I'll attempt to write a few entries telling about the different classes I teach each day, beginning now with my youngest kids in ESL 1.

I've been working at GKI School in Seoul for the last 8 months and really enjoy teaching english to Korean children. There are 17 other foreign teachers at the school from America and Canada and I have loved getting to know them. GKI offers everything from a full-day english speaking kindergarten program, to intermediate english classes for elementary school students, to intensive classes for those kids with parents who have Ivy League dreams. I work with the latter group in the ESL department, which means that most of my students have been learning english since they were old enough to walk and they all have a fairly good understanding of the language. All of the students are required to speak only english at school (they are punished when caught speaking korean), complete listening and reading comprehension homework each night, study for weekly dictation tests, and prepare for a monthly exam that test their knowledge of the material learned during the previous few weeks. The school is very well organized with daily lesson plans given to each teacher. Basically, I just walk into class, open to my pre-made lesson, and begin talking. There are still challengs at work...but at least coming up with material to teach isn't one of them.

The youngest students that I teach each day are those in my ESL 1 class. I've never been particularly excited about working with anyone under the age of 13, but I've really come to love these little ones. There are 9 students in the class and many of them attended english-only kindergarten programs last year. Because of this, they have a good understanding of sentence structure and have developed a fairly large vocabulary. It's always impressive to me that these 1st graders can read and write english so well. Last week I gave them a spelling test and one of the words was "gymnastics." I can't imagine that too many 7-year-olds in America could spell this word, which makes it all the more amazing that they are doing it in a second language. In addition to vocabulary we study math, science, history, and reading every week. Each student is also required to write a weekly summary over the book they are reading for homework, and then present it to the class. This has come to be one of their favorite actitives because they love standing at the front of the room and having everyone clap when they finish their presentation. They are a really goofy, smart, eager group of students and I always look foward to teaching them.

a view of my classroom.

hannah (named after hannah montana...yes, they watch that in korea, too). everytime i see this girl it makes me ready to adopt a little asian baby.

esther and lucy.

the whole crazy class.

each day i give the students a topic to write about during the first 15 minutes of class while i am checking their homework. last week they wrote about their favorite things to do during the summer. here is a short video clip of jenny presenting her paper. i love that little kid voice that they all still have.

Coming soon: ESL 2, ESL 4, ESL 5, ESL 6. Since they are all on the verge of being teenagers I'm sure they aren't going to be nearly as willing to have their picture taken!

things i currently love.

2008-06-12T17:51:00.000-07:00

Researching my upcoming trip to Bali, Indonesia. Running in Olympic Park on cool summer nights. Waking up and feeling rested. Working out with my new personal trainer. Coming home to a clean apartment. Reading Anderson Cooper's book "Dispatches From the Edge." Listening to travel podcasts about Southeast Asia and India. Working at the girl's orphanage in Seoul. Coffee dates with new friends. Eating wild strawberries. Editing photos. Listening to hour long voicemails on the computer from my best friend. Sitting at a coffee shop before work and writing in my journal. Waking up on a Saturday morning, hopping on the subway, and exploring the city.

church retreat in sokcho.

2008-06-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

I have been attending Onnuri Church in Seoul for the last 7 months and am so thankful to have found a place to worship that's full of so many authentic people who are excited about missions and the world. This past weekend I went to Sokcho, located along the northeastern coast of Korea, for the annual OEM (Onnuri English Ministry) spring retreat. I had a great time getting to know new people and listening to the pastors share about their faith journey. The conference center that we stayed at was tucked away in the mountains and was so beautiful and relaxing. It was wonderful to get away from the chaos of Seoul and to be close to nature for a few days. There were about 150 people at the retreat from places all around the world. It's an incredible feeling to stand in a room with Canadians, Americans, South Africans, Australians, Koreans, Brits, etc. and to know that you are all worshipping the same God. I am so thankful for the new friendships that were formed and for the quiet moments I spent alone reflecting on my relationship with the Lord. My faith has done a complete 360-degree circle since moving to Seoul. It's so easy to get caught up in the movement of city life and to push your spiritual life to the side. I finally feel like I am back on the path towards becoming the person I was meant to be. It was a wonderful weekend. Rejoice!

a view from the retreat center balcony.

sokcho beach. we spent a few hours here each day relaxing in the sun.

"I'm not who I was when I took my first breath, and I'm clinging to the promise Your not through with me yet."
-Ginny Ownes.

life along the mekong.

2008-06-04T08:29:00.000-07:00

I recently finished reading a book titled “The River’s Tale: A Year on the Mekong” and have been thinking a lot about this part of the world lately. The author writes about his journey along the Mekong River from the mountains of Tibet, through southern China, Laos, Cambodia, and finally Vietnam. It was impossible to read about his experience without thinking of my own.

I can so vividly remember the hours, and sometimes days, spent traveling on buses from one Southeast Asian city to another. I will never forget the feeling of arriving in Luang Prabang, Laos at night and being greeted by vendors selling freshly made chicken baguette sandwiches, monks walking the streets dressed in bright orange robes, and a guesthouse over-looking one of the city’s most beautiful Buddhist temples. I remember the days spent strolling the perfectly restored alleyways in Lijiang, China and watching Naxi men and women perform traditional dances in the town square. My mind wanders back to the hot afternoons in Saigon, Vietnam where my only plan was to shop in one of the many markets full of men and women eager to bargain over the price of imitation goods. I can almost feel the crisp morning air as I hopped on the back of a motorcycle taxi at 5 am to watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat in Siem Reap, Cambodia. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that it was actually me in all of those incredible moments. I must be the luckiest person on earth.

Reading this book about the Mekong River has been a reminder of my love for this part of the world. You won’t find fancy shopping malls or expensive cars in most of these places, but you will find a simple, unexplainable beauty in the land and on the faces of the people. Traveling through these war-torn countries awakened my understanding of the world like never before. I have seen landmine victims struggling to make ends meet, played with children whose growth was stunted due to malnutrition, watched wealthy western men take advantage of young Asian girls forced into prostitution, and seen killing fields where thousands of innocent people died at the hands of brutal leader. However, I have also witnessed singing and dancing, children's laughter, and a deep appreciation for life's simple pleasures. Many of these people have not forgotten their past, and still struggle to survive, but remain hopeful for a better future. Their outlook on life has radically shaped my own. I have never seen so much beauty in the world. I long to return to the simplicity of life along the Mekong.

These photos were taken during a 6-hour boat ride along the Mekong River from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I traveled through this part of the world in February and March of 2007. It was an experience I hope to never forget.

"Yes, there is a genuine emotional and intellectual rush that comes from travel and discovery...in understanding, in seeing societies change, adapt, create, struggle, survive. And there is a rush of travel itself, a 'wind in the hair' sensation that comes from hefting a backpack and heading into what is truly unknown."
-Edward Gargan.

the basket truck.

2008-05-29T17:06:00.000-07:00

I know it's going to be a good day when I walk out of my apartment and this is the first thing I see.

Life. Always interesting.

running. running. running.

2008-05-24T21:21:00.000-07:00

This weekend I ran in the Marriot Family Marathon (which was really a 5k and 10k race) and am still alive to tell about it! My good friend Julie works for one of the major hotels in the city that was sponsoring the event, and she signed me up knowing that I like to run. It was actually my New Year's resolution to run a half-marathon, but after running the 10k I am ridiculously thankful I didn't start with such a long event. I run about 40 km a week at the gym on a treadmill, but running outside in the heat and humidity left me feeling completely unprepared. Regardless, I finished in about an hour and 5 minutes, placed 3rd in the women's division (the number of women competing is irrelevant. ha), and won a 35,000 won ($35) gift certificate to the bakery at the Renaissance Hotel!

The event was held in the south-eastern part of the city along a stream that flows out of the Han River. It was a really beautiful place to spend a spring morning. I showed up at the race after only sleeping 4 hours the night before (its hard to go to bed early on a Friday night when there's so much going on in Seoul!) and was given a towel, tank-top, and number. Over near the starting line everyone was led in tai chi meets tae-kwon-do warm-up exercises. It wasn't really my style, but "when in Rome..." Shortly after the strange stretching routine ended the 10k runners lined up and were off. As soon as I started moving I realized that it is a hundreds times harder to run on pavement in the humidity than it is to run on a treadmill in an air-conditioned gym. Hmmm...I should have figured that out sooner. Regardless, of the mild heat exhuastion that set in after the 6th kilometer I pushed myself to continue running. I turned up my ipod as loud as the sound would go and zoned out to an upbeat Death Cab song for the remainder of the race. I was too tired to even search for a new song so I kept listening to the same thing on repeat over and over again. When I finally crossed the finish line I was told that I had placed 3rd in the women's division! I was seriously confused because I thought that I was near the end, but it turns out one of the women ahead of me had cut a corner and was disqualified. Asa! More than anything I'm just happy that I pushed myself and finished the race. It was a good day, for sure.

me and julie after i ran the race.

working the registration table.

To all of you marathon runners out there...I dont know how you do it. I wont be joining you anytime soon.

the secrets we keep.

2008-05-18T04:08:00.000-07:00

Every week people from around the world send in anonymous postcards with secrets written on them to www.postsecret.blogspot.com. Each Sunday morning new cards are uploaded and shared with the intent of helping people to feel connected and less alone. Over the past year or so I have saved dozens of postcards that inspire me. Here are a few of my favorites...

music and rain.

2008-05-18T02:28:00.000-07:00

"Simple Life" -The Weepies.

Can I get up in the moming
Put the kettle on
Make us some coffee, say "hey" to the sun...
Is it enough to write a song and sing it to the birds?
They'd hear just the tune
Not understand my love for words
But you would hear me and know

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

I dreamed you first
But not so real
And everyday since I've found you
Such moments we steal
Like little thieves, we rub our hands
We hold our hearts between them.
But will you hear me and know?

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.

Move on, move on
Time is accelerating.
Drive on all night
Traffic lights and one-ways.
Move on, move on
Parking violations waiting
Turn off the car, breathe the air
Let's stay here.

I'll kiss you awake, and we'll have time
To know our neighbors all by name
And every star at night.
We'll weave our days together like waves
And particles of light.

I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.
.....................................................................

It's a rainy, slow-moving Sunday evening. After church I spent a few hours at a coffee shop writing and reading and listening to music. I love those rare moments when you find an artist whose lyrics make the rest of the world fade away and inspire introspection and thought. Today I am thinking about where life has taken me and the dreams I have for the future. Today I want to do something creative and I want to find beauty. I want to find a way to make a real difference in the world. I want to start living and doing rather than just dreaming and saying. I want to live a simple life... but I'm not sure where to begin.

prayers for the middle country.

2008-05-15T07:14:00.000-07:00

Over 50,000 people have already been confirmed dead from Monday's earthquake and the number grows higher every day. Today I feel like packing my bags and boarding a plane to China. I don't want to sit in my comfortable apartment reading CNN articles online and scrolling through photos of collapsed schools and children trapped beneath the rubble. I want to help. A part of my heart still remains in China.

And somehow, hope was in the midst of them.

saunas, wine bars, and bike rides.

2008-05-11T20:03:00.000-07:00

Life is never dull.

Friday: Awake at 6:30 am. 3 mile run. Work til' 7. Dinner in Sinsa. Coffee. Good food and good company. Sleep at 2 am.

Saturday: Awake at 9 am. Shopping in Myeongdong. Dinner w/ Eva at On the Border (mexican food!). Bought tickets to a movie. Found out the movie is in French. Returned tickets. Vintage shopping in Ewha Women's University area. Wine bar and photography books with friends in Hongdae. Thought-provoking subway ride home while listening to Imogen. Sleep at 2 am.

Sunday: Awake at 10 am. Latte and journal writing at the Coffee Bean. Church in Seobinggo. Jimjilbang and sauna w/ girl friends. Great conversation. Subway home. Sleep at 1 am.

Monday: Buddha's birthday=no work! Phones calls to friends and family. Clean apartment. Bike ride along the Han River (wonderful!). Nap on a park bench. Shower. Thai coconut curry. Movie (The Great Debaters). Bedtime.

A few photos from the weekend:

jess and i at the jimjilbang. sarah joined us not long after this photo was taken. amazing friends!

myeong-dong. easily my favorite area in the city. i could sit on the second floor of the coffee shop here and stare out of the window for hours...i often do.

my new bike and the han river. i took an hour-long nap here this afternoon while death cab sang to me. i think its going to become a regular activity.

please give it back.

2008-05-07T06:04:00.001-07:00

I woke up this morning at 7 am to go for a run at the gym, and as soon as I rounded the corner of my apartment complex I realized that my bike wasn't where I had left it the night before. I kept thinking maybe I was just going crazy and that I had locked it up somewhere else. Nope...someone stole my bike! No more morning bike rides through Olympic Park. No more quick trips to the coffee shop to grab a latte before school. Ugh. I can't live here without my bike. I feel trapped in my own neighborhood. I think I'm going to get a new one tomorrow, but this time I'll bring it inside every night.

If you stole it, please give it back.

the torch comes to seoul.

2008-04-27T08:01:00.001-07:00

Today was a day I will never forget.

This afternoon I walked over to Olympic Park expecting to take a few photos of the Olympic torch as it moved through Seoul, and was instead bombarded with a display of Chinese nationalism unlike anything I've ever witnessed. Eager to capture history being made, I pulled out my camera and began taking photos of the thousands and thousands of Zhongguoren proudly holding their red and yellow communist flag. Nationalist chants could be heard from all directions as people shouted "One China! One dream!" and "Zhongguo, China!" hoping to drown out any resentment coming from the protesters. Students held handmade banners and posters that declared their love for China and their disdain for Western media. Along the edge of the park American, European and Korean activist denounced China's human rights record in Tibet and North Korea and stood carrying signs and wearing hats and shirts in protest. There was a frenzy of excitement and anticipation as media stations swarmed the park hoping to capture the events as they unfolded. I just couldn't believe I was in the middle of it all.

As the torch was making its way to Olympic Park tensions began to rise among the Chinese. If I learned anything about China while living there last year, it is that its people are fiercely devoted to their country and will do anything possible to defend it. Today was no exception. I found myself standing and talking with a man who works for a North Korean refugee organization in Seoul when anger among the Chinese was unleashed. The man, Tim, was wearing a shirt that vividly depicted the horrendous treatment of China towards the North Koreans as they flee their poverty-stricken country. As soon as students took notice of his shirt the rioting exploded and I found myself completely encircled by about 30+ police officers as the Chinese angrily shouted from all directions. Flags were waving. Cameras were rolling. Fists were beating the air. It was one of those surreal moments when I couldn't believe I was actually a part of the action. Adrenaline began pulsing through my body and all I could do was try to document every movement with my camera. The only other people inside of the circle were AP photographers and press members, along with the anti-Chinese activist. I wasn't the least bit scared to be there. In fact, it was such a rush that all I felt was pure excitement. In that moment I couldn't help but think it might be fun to be a photojournalist.

this vido was taken at the time tensions began to rise and the police completely surrounded the anti-chinese protesters. i was lucky enough to be shooting this clip from the inside!

The torch made a 4 1/2 hour journey through Seoul and ended up at City Hall this evening. Around the time the flame was due to arrive, I made my way to this area of the city and was once again greeted with thousands and thousands of people chanting, Chinese flags waving through the air, and students wearing pro-China T-shirts and face paint. It was truly an incredible sight. I met up with a couple of girl friends and somehow we were able to get a front row view when the torch was run into the stadium. It's such a strange feeling to know that the very torch that was just feet away from me this afternoon has been carried all around the world. During the last few months it has become one of the most controversial centerpieces of international politics. I am so anxious to see how the events in Beijing will unfold as the Olympics get closer. I am so lucky to have been a part of the excitement today.

I want to end this blog by expressing my love for the people of China. Living there was one of the best experiences of my life thus far, and I have nothing but respect for the millions of hard-working citizens who are the backbone of the country. I have made friendships with students and teachers in Changsha that I hope will last forever. However, today I was once again angered by the undeniably cruel Chinese goverment that inflicts censorship, discrimination, forced birth control, and dozens of other atrocities against its own people. It's sad to see so many people blindly expressing patriotism to a nation so corrupt. It's time for the world to take a stand against the world's biggest regime and demand something more. The Olympics may not be the best platform for trying to create change, but there's no better time than now because the whole world is watching.

now that i have seen...

2008-04-23T07:09:00.000-07:00

I watched this video for the first time a few months again and haven’t been able to get it out of my head since. It is a reminder of the great responsibility I have to care for the world’s less fortunate. I have been blessed beyond anything I deserve. I must give back.

I have seen Albertine on the faces of Cambodian children forced to beg wealthy tourists for money while roaming the streets barefoot. She sold postcards of Angkor Wat, illegal copies of popular English books, and handmade jewelry. I have seen Albertine on a bus ride through Laos. She wore a long, dirty dress and rolled balls of sticky rice by hand to feed her two young children. I have seen her in homeless shelters throughout America. She always spoke with hope in her voice, despite being unable to find a job and having to eat from soup kitchens day after day. Albertine…I will not forget you.

“Now that I have seen I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead.”

cheongdo bullfighting festival.

2008-04-13T05:09:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning my friends and I boarded a train at Seoul Station and headed towards a tiny town tucked away in the mountains of Korea. It was my first time being on a train since living in China and it made me somewhat nostalgic, but also incredibly excited, to be traveling through another country. I always love sitting next to the window and watching the countryside pass by outside.

As soon as we arrived in Cheongdo we caught a shuttle bus that took us to the annual bullfighting festival on the outskirts of town. The entire area was bustling with people and vendors and decorations that made this seemingly sleepy little village come to life. Surrounding the stadium there were dozens of carnival-type rides, open-air restaurants selling noodles and tteokbokki, local farmers offering samples of their dried persimmons, and performers singing and dancing on stages. As we navigated through the crowd to find our seats it was obvious that we weren't in Seoul anymore...we could feel the stares coming from every direction. I'm not sure Cheongdo natives had ever seen such a large group of foreigners in their town!

the whole group...minus josh who was behind the camera.

Having never been to a bullfighting festival, I didn't quite know what to expect. All throughout the day new bulls were brought into the ring, unleashed, and then expected to push their heads together until one of them got tired and gave up. It's still a weird concept to me, but I definitely had fun cheering for the biggest bull and pretending to understand the point of this strange sport. I'm also convinced that anything can be fun if you are with the right group of people! My friend Paul and I were able to take a few photos of the bullfights right next to the ring. Luckily, I brought my telephoto lens with me and was able to get some close up shots of the action.

At the end of the day we found a galbi restaurant and ate tons of pork wraps, soup, noodles, rice, etc. before heading to our hotel. The staff kindly offered us one of their suites at no extra charge and we took full advantage of the room. The place was spacious and was decorated in a renaissance meets red-light district style...always a classy combination. A large circular bed, complete with an ornate mirrored headboard, was against the back wall and dim red lights surrounded the top of the room. We used these "props" to our advantage and played a game of charades that lasted for hours. The bed became our stage and you were expected to stand on it while acting to your teammates who sat on the floor below. Some of the most fun moments of the night came when Kenna acted out Madonna's "Like a Virgin," and Meagan began screaming at her team for not being able to guess her movie with only a single action. I'm pretty sure I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Somehow the night began with only 8 people in the hotel room, and by about 10:30 pm there were almost 15 of us. Friends of friends kept showing up (probably because they heard us from the other floors) and soon it became one big party in room 301. Such a fun night!

mike's rendition of "mona lisa smile."

paul trying to act out an 80's song that no one had ever heard.

party in the love hotel.

Sunday morning we woke up fairly early and went back to the bullfighting festival. My friends, Josh and Bethany, had attended the bullfight last year and were asked to return and help with the annual rodeo demonstration. When we arrived at the stadium we met with an American cowboy from Nebraska who was running the show (seeing a guy with a big ole' belt buckle and a cowboy hat made me miss Texas!). He has been helping with the festival for years and was eager to find jobs for all of us. Most of the morning was spent hanging out and talking with the bull riders (a fun group of guys serving in the Air Force), taking pictures, and preparing for the show. At around 1 o'clock in the afternoon the rodeo began with all of us running around the inside of the ring trying to get the spectators excited. With thousands of Koreans watching, Bethany was the announcer, Eva the translator, Kenna, Julie, and Sharon the cheerleaders, and I was the gate girl. I stood inside of the ring and whenever the rider was bucked off it was my job to open the gate and usher the bull out. I only got scared once when a bull got confused about which side of the gate to exit on and headed straight towards me. I quickly ran away and abandoned my position...oops! Luckily I was just laughed at and someone else was there to take over. Everyone did such a great job and it was so fun being a part of the action. Look for us on Korean TV!

julie, sharon, kenna, and i pretending to be bulls while wearing the coolest visors you've ever seen.

Life can be so unexpected when you're living in a foreign country!

coffee shop thoughts.

2008-04-10T17:56:00.000-07:00

I think it would be near impossible to find a day more beautiful than the one I find myself in now. This morning I woke up fairly early, hopped on my bike, and rode over to Olympic Park which is just minutes away from my apartment. I am sitting outside on the patio at The Coffee Bean overlooking a sparkling pond, blooming cherry blossom trees, and women and men exercising on the trails that are woven throughout the park. The sun is shinning and fluffy white clouds are set against a bright blue sky. It feels like one of those perfect days that you only see in movies. It's been so wonderful living in a place with distinct changes in the seasons. I loved feeling the air turn cool after a long, hot summer. Walking home from work with snowflakes falling down around me in the winter. And watching the trees and flowers come back to life this spring. I love the energy that comes with a change in the weather. Everything feels so alive right now.

I often wonder what I did to deserve so much happiness. Last night I was watching an episode of Oprah (no judgement, please) and dozens of women were talking about their struggle to feel content and satisfied with life. In some ways I couldn't even relate to them. I have truly found an unexplainable joy in living. This happiness has come through feeling loved by family and friends. Being brave enough to follow my dreams of living abroad. Helping beautiful Korean and Chinese children learn to speak a new language. Melting the stress of the day away with long runs on the treadmill. Riding my bike through Olympic Park on a spring morning. Laughing. Exploring new places. Developing an understanding of cultures different from my own. Taking photographs of some of the most beautiful sights in the world. And finding a few quiet moments each day to just be alone and think. I know that at 24 years old I have so much left to learn about life, but for now I am content.

Right now my mind is bringing back all of these perfect, peaceful moments that I have been blessed enough to enjoy. I can so vividly remember waking up in southern Thailand, eating banana pancakes for breakfast, and spending the entire day laying next to the ocean with the sun and cool air washing over me. I remember mornings spent at a street side cafe in Luang Prabang, Laos drinking a cup of sweetened iced coffee while monks dressed in bright orange robes walked down the street. I can almost taste the spicy Chinese noodles topped with fresh mushrooms and peppers that I ate at an outdoor restraunt in Lijiang. I can feel the cool mountain that blew through the park in Interlaken, Switzerland. These memories are only a few that flood my mind now. It's so hard to believe that it was really me in all of those moments. Not only has life taken me on incredible journeys around the world, but its also provided me with friendship along the way. People to enjoy the experiences alongside. I am blessed beyond anything I deserve.

One of my favorite songs begins with these words: "Life gets a little better. Life stays a little gray. Live it up. Live it long. You can always count on those unexpected moments when the pleasure just sweeps you away." I have truly been swept away.

A few photos of Olympic Park:

the view from where I sit now. journal, ipod, coffee...perfection.

a view of the olympic monument from the top of a hill.

one of many walking/biking trails in the park.

the olympic monument built for the '88 games.

flags from around the world.

a weekend in the mountains.

2008-04-01T08:21:00.000-07:00

This post is long overdue, but as I'm sure you know by now I'm not very good at blogging on a regular basis. Life always seems to get in the way. However, a few weeks ago I went on a snowboarding/ski trip with a few friends from Seoul and wanted to share some photos. To get to the mountains we had to wake up at 4 am on Saturday morning and take a bus about 3 1/2 hours to the High 1 Resort in the northern part of the country. The place was beautiful and luckily wasn't very crowded. It was my first time on a snowboard and I loved every minute of it! However, my body didn't feel the same because I was ridiculously sore for about 3 days...just asked my girl friends who had to help me get dressed every morning. It was all worth it, though, and I'm already looking foward to next winter. This was easily one of the most fun weekends I've had since living in Korea. Good friends. Snow. An outdoor jacuzzi. A condo over-looking the slopes. Wonderful!

the whole group at the top of the mountain.

me and eva. the beginners.

passed out in the middle of the slope. snowboarding is seriosuly such hard work.

lunch break! gimbap. noodles. mandu.

hanging out in our a-m-a-z-i-n-g condo complete with flat screen TVs, 3 bedrooms, and a balcony overlooking the mountains.

I know I say it all the time, but it's true... life here is so fun.

somewhere in the middle.

2008-04-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

Written March 30, 2008:

I want to preface this by saying I am not crazy.

I'm sitting on my heated korean floor right now. All of my lights are turned off and a single candle is burning on the kitchen table. Sigur Ros is singing to me in Icelandic. I am eating a bowl full of thai coconut curry and drinking a glass of red wine. Life feels like its happening in slow motion.

I've spent a lot of time alone this weekend reading my book about travel, writing, and listening to music. All of this time to reflect has left me feeling completely confused, discontent, sad, but strangely hopeful. The melody of this Sigur Ros song transports me to another world. A place where my thoughts are safe and can find comfort in solitude. Right now I live between extremes. The chaos of the city conflicts with the calmness inside of my apartment. I am so overwhelmed by life. I cant even find the words. I feel like I'm floating between two places. Trying to make sense of something...anything. Trying to find love. Trying to find purpose. Trying to find passion. Trying to find something to believe in. My brain is full of questions. I know I love Asia, but why? Do I love it because I always feel discontent in America, or is there a deeper purpose for my being here? What do I want out of life? How do I portray myself to the world...but better yet, who am I really when no one else is around? Why am I so affected by people? Where is my life headed? Am I worthy of being loved?

Tonight I stepped out of the subway into a dark, cloudy night and never felt more alone. It was one of those moments that even when you have dozens of friends to call, you still feel like you're lost on a deserted island. I put in my headphones, turned on Sigur Ros, hopped on my bike, and just rode without a purpose. I rode over to Olympic Park and kept peddling as though some divine revelation was going to come to me if I kept moving. Nothing happened. Eventually I found a quiet place to sit near a pond with a view of the city lights. I sat there for almost an hour. I must have looked like a crazy person because I spent almost the entire time quietly talking to myself and then to God. It was the most real conversations I've had in years. I told God what I wanted out of life and asked Him over and over again to not forget about me. I talked about my passion for the world and my hope to make a difference. I told Him how meaningless it feels to experience so much joy and beauty, but to have no one to share it with. I told God that I was tired of going home every night to an empty apartment and desperately wanted assurance that it wouldnt be this way forever. Eventually the words turned to tears and numbness washed over me. Tonight just felt lonely. Today I realized for the first time that its just me in this world. I guess on some level I've always known that, but it felt more real today. I chose to come to Korea, and I wouldnt change this experience for anything, but I know all I have here is superfical love. Conditonal friendships. Lately I've realized it doesnt matter where I am in the world, the situation will most likely be the same. I guess its just hard when you so desperately know that you were made to love and take care of someone, but at the end of the day you only have yourself to think about. It's a dizzying feeling. I'm not just talking about romantic love either. Any kind really. Loving someone who is lonely, sick, hungry, etc. My life feels like it lacks purpose without love. It's never been more clear that it is now...I am all alone. How did I not recognize this sooner?

This book I've been reading is about one woman's journey to find contentment while traveling through three very different countries. She spent almost 4 months living in an ashram in India learning meditation and balance. She would wake up at 3 am every single morning to sit in a dark room and chant and pray. She ate vegetarian meals, met people from all around the world, rid herself of most material possesions, and ended up finding God. I'm not claiming to need the same experience, but it sounds so incredible. Sometimes I feel so far from the person i want to be, and want to remove myself from the busyness of the city to find out who I really am and what I want out of life. I'm not sure i know who I am anymore. I'd like to think I have it all figured out...but I dont. I am a constant contradiction. As soon as I finish this email I am going to try and meditate. I'm not very good at being still for any length of time but i am going to try. I think it will feel good to make my head hollow (as my friends in China used to say).

One of my favorite passages from this book says, "I keep remembering one of my guru's teachings about happiness. She said that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like find weather if you're fortunate enough. But thats not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, and insist upon it, and sometimes even travel the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you dont, you will leak away your innate contentment. Its easy though to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your in crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments."

I know I am blessed beyond anything I deserve. I know I have no right to demand anything more from life. I know that I have a God who loves me. I know I have every reason in the world to be happy. I hate that I am victim to the human condition that always leaves me longing for something more. I desperately want to believe that God has not forgotten about me. I am going to fight to hold onto happiness.

I know i was made for this. To be in the world, traveling, living among people whose culture is so different than my own, and building friendships in the most unexpected places. I find so much joy and content in this lifestyle. I just need to trust the process.

Rejoice!

beautiful asia.

2008-03-10T05:19:00.000-07:00

Tonight I rode my bike home from the gym through the cool, crisp night air. The streets were illuminated by neon signs with unfamiliar Hanguel words scribbled across their front. Old men and women were packing up their fruit, vegetable, and fish stands to head home for the day. Families were sitting inside of the Gimbap Heaven resturant that I often frequent when I feel like having a bowl of kimchi jiggae for dinner. Tonight I envisioned myself on a map of the world and thought about the thousands of miles that seperate me from America. I never imagined that one day I would be living on a tiny peninsula between China, Japan, and North Korea. Sometimes it still feels surreal. I am thankful for where life has taken me. I love this side of the world.

a day at the races.

2008-03-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday afternoon I went to the horse races with a few friends from work. It was so nice to leave the busy city and to be surrounded by mountains and fresh(er) air. I've never been much for gambling, as I can think of more fun ways to lose my money, so I spent most of the day making 50 cent and dollar bets. I attempted to play the odds, but it never really worked out in my favor and I didn't win a single race. Next time I'm just going to bet on the prettiest horse.

A few photos from the day:

the foreigner's section. kind of like having box seats at a sporting event in america. (also the flags of my two favorite countries in the world.)

reading stats to determine which horses to bet on.

i tried to take a photo as the horses were leaving the gate, but right when the horn blew eva started telling me about her new hair conditioner and i missed my chance. i had to wait until they came back around to get the shot.

me and eva. we spent the majority of the day taking pictures of ourselves.

Another wonderful weekend in Korea!

thank you, mr. vonnegut.

2008-02-24T02:07:00.000-08:00

My friend, James, and I began our very own Seoul book club a few months ago...we are the only members. Nearly every weekend we get together at a random coffee shop in the city to read, talk, and consume endless amounts of caffeine. Its been a great way to continue learning now that we are out of college and in the "real world" where reading books isn't quite as commonplace. It's fun to have a friend in the city with similar interests who is ridiculously smarter than me and enjoys lazy Saturday afternoons spent at the Coffee Bean...and he's a Texan! So far we have read "Slaughter House Five," "Lolita," "A Man Without a Country," and are now working through "On the Road." I feel smarter already.

Yesterday afternoon we read Vonnegut's last work, "A Man Without a Country," at the coffee shop overlooking Itaewon. This book was written as a sort of memoir to his life and throughout he discusses his opinions on politics, modern America, life, art, etc. I love his way with words...humorous, introspective, witty, and real. I feel like I learn more about my own life just by reading his thoughts. Yesterday, one phrase in paticular caught my attention. Vonnegut was talking about his Uncle Alex whose biggest complaint was that people seldom noticed when they were happy. His uncle would frequently interrupt conversations and exclaim, "If this isn't nice I don't know what is." In response, Vonnegut stated, "So I do the same now, and so do my kids and grandkids. And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"

This morning I woke up, layed in bed for a few minutes, and read those words again. I want to notice when I am happy. I don't want to go through life numb to the joy and beauty that surrounds me each and every day. I want to take notice, and appreciate, even the smallest details that make life worth living... good conversation that last for hours, friendship, the cool air blowing past as I ride my bike to work, sunny mornings spent journaling and listening to music in Olympic Park, laughter, dancing, music that inspires thought, flags representing nations around the world, poetry, capturing the perfect photograph in an exotic country, hot coffee on a winter day, a morning message of encouragement from a best friend, an email written just to say hello, a quiet night at home in my apartment, a good movie, being surrounded by nature, streets filled with people and neon lights, and so on. The things I have to be happy about are far too numerous to list.

One of the most vivid images in my mind of someone who truly knows how to enjoy and appreciate life is of my friend, Nicole. Exactly one year ago we were in Koh Phangan, Thailand together traveling Southeast Asia. One afternoon we look a long-tailed boat out with a small tour group to snorkel, tan, and see some of the surrounding islands. The sky was dotted with fluffy white clouds, the ocean a rich shade of turquoise and blue, and the sun was hanging high above us. The perfect afternoon. I remeber looking over and seeing Nicole sitting at the edge of the boat with her face to the sky, eyes closed, and long hair blowing in the wind. It was almost as if the rest of the world ceased to exist for her in that moment. I couldn't help but think that she was someone who truly knows how to make the most of an afternoon spent in paradise. She seemed so aware and overwhelmed by the beauty surrounding her that all she could do was close her eyes and soak up the happiness. I'll never forget that image. That afternoon Nicole showed me a self-assuredness, contentment, and joy for life that I can only hope to one day have.

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy."

the trouble with not speaking korean.

2008-02-14T06:52:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure that I've been using fabric softener to wash my clothes for the past six months.

At least they're soft and smell good.

mom comes to seoul.

2008-02-11T16:13:00.000-08:00

For the last 6 months I have been living in Korea all alone (with the exception of great friends) and have relied soley on over-the-phone descriptions to communicate my surroundings. However, last Monday my mom came to Seoul! It's hard to put the last week into words. Nothing I write down could do it justice. While she was here it was a whirlwind of hanging out, trying new food, shopping, exploring the city, touring palaces, etc. Wonderful. I think in the last week I have seen all of Seoul's "hot-spots" in a matter of days. It was so fun to hop on and off the subway, explore the area for a bit, and then head to a different district to do the same. Myeong-dong, Namdaemun, Dongdaemun, Techno Mart, Jamsil, Gyeongbok Palace, Insadong, Itaewon, Namsan Tower, etc....we've seen it all.

I think it's hard for people to really have an understanding and appreciation for a place they've never seen firsthand. More than anything I am excited that Korea will forever be a place that my mom has experienced for herself. When I talk about different areas of the city, or friends that I'm hanging out with, she will have a connection with these things in her mind. Having the opportunity to share my love of travel and the world with family is the greatest thing. I know its not always easy having a daughter or sister that lives on the other side of the world, but I am thankful for a family that supports and encourages my dreams. I must be the luckiest person on earth.

A few photos from this past week:

shopping in dongdaemun market.

eating 돼지갈비 at a little korean resturant near my apartment. so good.

self-portrait taken after a long bike ride through olympic park.

my mom standing in front of the namdaemun tower...which burned down the following day.

I am so thankful for my mom's visit to Korea! It was one of the best weeks I've had here so far.

life lately...

2008-01-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

Teaching little Koreans to speak English 7 hours a day.

Walking to work in the snow.

Running. Running. Running. Training for the Seoul 1/2 marathon in March.

Drinking lots of coffee and trying to study Korean.

Meeting people all the time and loving these new friendships.

Reading books with James on the weekend. First Vonnegut and now Nabokov.

Dancing in Itaewon and Hongdae until the sun comes up. I love T-Pain.

Eating western food at On the Border and Bennigans. I do eat my Kimchi, too.

Driving to the outskirts of Seoul and eating lunch with a wonderful Korean family.

Shopping in Myeong-dong and going to movies.

Hanging out constantly with tons of great friends!

Looking forward to my mom's visit to Seoul in 2 weeks.

Loving the big city...the lights, the people, the subway, the shopping, the neighborhoods, etc.

Life is so fun.

christmas in japan.

2007-12-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

I love having everything I need in one big backpack and feeling like the world is mine to explore.

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for Japan! I'll be spending the next 7 days in Tokyo with my friend, Kenna. I'm so excited about leaving Korea for a few days and seeing yet another part of Asia. Check back in a couple of weeks for photos and stories of my trip. Sayonara!

dreams to reality.

2007-12-16T03:35:00.000-08:00

If you know me well, you know that my love of photography is second only to travel. I love exploring new countries and trying to capture the raw moments of life as they happen around me. This past year I have taken hundreds of pictures all throughout China, Thailand, Vietnam, Korea, Cambodia, and Laos. I am so thankful for the dozens of people who willingly let me take their photo in an attempt to help others understand their culture.

A few days ago I received an email from a woman who works for a non-profit, Christian organization based in China. She stumbled across my pictures on Flickr and asked if I’d be willing to sell about 25 photos to her organization to be used on their website and in their publications. Exciting! I’ve always thought about selling my photos, and now it’s finally happening. Talk about an easy way to make $175!

Dreams coming true…

my big nose.

2007-12-11T05:14:00.000-08:00

If living among the Asians for the past year and a half has taught me anything, its that people generally think that having western features is a sign of beauty. It's not uncommon for people to praise someone who has "big eyes" and a "high nose." As an American I have been subject to endless compliments because I happened to be born with these desired features. In Korea, nearly every woman I meet has had eye surgery to create a "double eyelid" (their eyelids usually lay flat across their eye) and sometimes even nose surgery, whereby the bone is broken near the top, to make their nose "higher" (their noses generally lay flat).

Tonight at the gym I was surrounded by high school girls while changing in the locker room. Although there are a lot of foreigners living in Korea, its not often that people have the chance to talk one-on-one with someone from another country. The girls were really eager to practice their english and they wanted to know where I was from and what I was doing in Seoul. After talking for a few minutes, one girl boldly said, "You are so beautiful...your nose looks like a mountain!"

Uhhh...thanks?

you better start living.

2007-12-08T19:34:00.000-08:00

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

- author unknown.

insadong and immigration.

2007-12-07T23:44:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and try to envision my exact location on a map of the world. Right now I am in Asia. South Korea. Seoul. Insadong. An entire ocean separates me from my home, and yet strangely this place is becoming more familiar every day. I know the subway system, the sound of the language, the districts of the city. I have Korean friends that I talk to daily. The writing that used to look complicated and mysterious is now somewhat easy to decipher. The more I travel the smaller the world seems. Korean, Chinese, Thai, Cambodian, American…we’re all basically the same.

Today I needed to get away from the chaos of the city and just explore, think, and let my mind wander. After spending a quiet morning at home in my apartment, I hopped on the subway and headed over to Insadong. I love the eclectic feel of this neighborhood. Right now I am sitting on the second floor of a street side café just watching life happen below. I love the change in perspective. Sometimes I prefer to be an observer rather than a participant. From where I am sitting I can see people walking along the cobblestone streets, vendors selling an assortment of Korean food, traditional teahouses, stores selling souvenirs, art shops, Hangeul (Korean) written on buildings and signs. A young college student is standing in the middle of the busy alleyway holding a sign above his head that reads, “Free Hugs.” Every so often someone will excitedly wrap their arms around him, glance at their friends, and then burst into laughter. A group of girls just walked in front of the café dressed in white jumpsuits with the letters H, O, P, and E, attached to the front of their clothes. A group of activists is slowly moving down the street carrying signs protesting the 2008 Olympics and China’s treatment of the Falun Gong movement. A woman wearing a colorful Korean Hanbok moves through the crowd, most likely on her way to an important event. As my friends and I often said while traveling Southeast Asia, “Welcome to exotic!”

I love lazy Saturday afternoons spent in Asia.

I have been reading a book for the last few weeks entitled “Oracle Bones.” Even though I currently live in Korea, I am still fascinated by the rapid development and culture of China. This particular book was written by a young American who spent two years teaching in Fuling, China and now works as a freelance writer in Beijing. His thoughts and insights on China are always moving and inspiring. He so brilliantly captures the idiosyncrasies of the country that make it such an interesting place to learn about at this particular time in history.

One of the main figures in the story is an American immigrant from the Xinjiang region of China (an autonomous territory located in the northeastern part of the country). The author met him while living in Beijing and their friendship has continued on even though the Chinese man has since moved to Washington D.C. One of my favorite things about this book is reading the young Xinjiang native’s account of life in America. His story has caused me to think about the difficulties that so many people have endured in order to obtain freedom. I hate that I’ve lived in America for most of my life without any real thought of the thousands of immigrants that struggle to begin a new life in my country. How did this go unnoticed? I guess I’ve always taken the diversity of America for granted. Living in Asia for the last year and a half has radically altered my perception of the western world. America is a place where we have the freedom to practice any religion we wish, to voice our opinions, to travel and explore with ease, and to express our individuality. I’m not in any way suggesting that America has everything figured out, but I can guarantee you that there is more freedom, diversity, and opportunity to succeed in North America and Western Europe than many people will ever know. However, in seach of hope and brighter future, thousands of people have moved to the United States and have endured unbelievable struggles in the process.

In Korea and China my features cause me to stand out from the crowd. People instantly know that I am different. Because I am an American many people are usually more than willing to accommodate my needs and constantly feed my ego…they struggle to speak English to me in stores, they think I am beautiful because I have a “high nose and big eyes,” and they are eager to learn about my life in the west. However, in America, I don’t even give a second thought to people that appear to come from far away regions of the world. In America it’s common to hear different languages being spoken, to see red and blonde and brown and black hair, to see people of different shapes and sizes. Nothing fazes us. It must be so hard to move to America and being a new life. People rarely take notice of you, they expect you to speak English, and you aren’t given special treatment because you are a foreigner. How strange. I know one of the great things about America is the freedom and diversity that we enjoy. The “American Dream” is more than just an idea; it’s truly a reality for so many people. I guess I just wish that as the melting pot of the world we did more to really embrace our differences, instead of merely being tolerant of them...I don't think those are one in the same. I wish the thousands of immigrants living in America were able to relocate with the same ease that I’ve experienced in moving to Asia.

You and me, we're not so different.

the weekend.

2007-12-03T05:26:00.002-08:00

Another wonderful weekend has come to an end and tomorrow morning I’ll return to the world of teaching English to snotty-nosed kindergarteners and overworked elementary students. I love my job, but I also love having a break from the routine of work and exploring the city with friends for a couple of days. It seems like every weekend in Korea brings something new. I couldn’t ask for a more fun place to live. I’ve decided that if you’re bored in Seoul it’s your own fault.

When I arrived here 3 months ago I was lucky enough to immediately have a network of westerners around me. At my school there are 18 foreign teachers from the United States and Canada, as well as dozens of amazing Korean teachers. I’ve loved getting to know so many new people and learning about their lives and experiences. In many ways I feel like I’ve found the best of both worlds…friends who understand my western culture along with Korean friends who can teach me about theirs. I’m so lucky.

As always, this weekend was so much fun. In the span of only 48 hours I had a massage with my friend Lisa, ate lunch and shopped with my favorite Korean girls, hung out in two of the cities most popular districts, Coex and Itaewon, played poker with friends from school (and lost all my money), went ice-skating at Jamsil, and went shopping at Techno Mart with Kenna. Every week I tell myself that the next weekend will be spent hibernating and relaxing in my apartment, and somehow Saturday and Sunday always end up being anything but restful. However, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love being busy and having so many great friends to hang out with. My life is fun.

And so another week begins…

home sweet home.

2007-11-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

This is what $650 a month will get you in Seoul. Luckily, I work for a school that pays the rent.

living room/bedroom/kitchen/dining room/study.

I still shower over the toilet. Gotta love asian bathrooms!

There's nowhere else I'd rather live.

thoughts on thanksgiving.

2007-11-21T15:35:00.000-08:00

A year ago today I was standing on the side of the road in my thick winter jacket waiting for a peasant to finish roasting 14 sweet potatoes. I was in Zhengzhou, China for the weekend visiting Grant and we were on our way to celebrate Thanksgiving Day with a few of his friends. Everyone was bringing a dish to share and our contribution ended up being common street food.

Earlier that day we had peeled and mashed about a dozen potatoes in his apartment. Unsure of how to cook them, we placed the potatoes in a large pot, added some milk, salt and pepper, and began heating them on an electric burner. After a few minutes a horrible smell started to fill the room. We took off the lid to the pot only to discover the potatoes were beginning to stick the bottom and were turning black. The more milk we added the more intense the smell. Eventually the whole apartment reeked of burnt trash. Knowing that we couldn’t take the trash-smelling potatoes to dinner, we grabbed our things and hit the street in search of a sweet potato vendor. In China sweet potatoes are one of the most common types of street food and can be found on virtually every corner during the winter…. except for on this particular day. After walking around the neighborhood for a good while without any luck, we hopped in a taxi and drove around until we spotted a portable black roaster and a vendor eager to make a few Yuan. Thankfully, we showed up for dinner just in time with a trash bag full of steaming hot potatoes. Everyone else had prepared homemade dishes and they weren’t so impressed with our street food. If only they had known the alternative.

Today I find myself on the other side of the world once again wishing that I were home to enjoy turkey, stuffing, rolls, green bean casserole and pecan pie on this Thanksgiving Day. It’s always hard to be away from family during the holidays. I so badly wish there was a way to have it all in life…family nearby, shared holidays, travel, adventure, etc. I haven’t yet found a way to merge all of my favorite things about life into one. When I am in America I long to be back overseas living, traveling, and learning about new cultures. When I am overseas I find myself missing family and the traditions of home. I guess that’s just part of living. We can’t have it all. I love being overseas more than anything, but it’s always just a little harder around the holidays. While my family is sitting around the dinner table tonight eating and laughing and telling stories I am here in Asia with so much to be thankful for. Tonight I will most likely go out for dessert and coffee to celebrate the day with friends, but it doesn’t beat my grandma's freshly baked pecan pie! If only the pilgrims had landed in Korea….

In the spirit of Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for: mom, dad, Amanda, Kyle, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, my bffitssfaea, meagan, lauren, brent, new friends in Korea, my warm apartment, the chance to live my dream of traveling the world, hope, education, blankets, shoes, my job, memories of China and Southeast Asia, freedom, toothbrushes, clothes, pillows, my journal, coffee, public transportation, temples, the opportunities that come from being born in America, books, music, beaches, mountains, hostels, warm showers, scarves, my seat near the window at Starbucks, inspirational quotes, shampoo, computers, washing machines, candles, movies, photographs, streets full of neon lights, cars, air-conditioning, heat, cell phones, hair dryers, fruit, long underwear, hammocks, church, democracy, snowflakes, sunshine, rainy days with nothing to do, etc. etc.

happy thanksgiving!

sunday in seoul.

2007-11-18T17:18:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons I love living overseas is that everyday brings something new. Even the monotonous routines of life seem more exciting when I am experiencing them in a different country. Living in Asia for the last year has made me feel more alive and free than I ever knew was possible. I love living and working among people whose language I don’t understand. I love getting on the subway in Seoul, looking around, and seeing that I am the only westerner in sight. I love the challenge of deciphering Korean on street signs, packages of food, and magazine covers. I love hearing a student shout “hello!” as I walk past, and then hearing them burst into laughter with a friend out of embarrassment for having spoken to a foreigner. I love the excitement of hopping on an overnight train and waking up in a new city. I love riding my bike through my quiet Asian neighborhood and passing markets, fruit vendors, family-owned restaurants, Internet cafes, tea shops, etc. I love developing friendships with natives who can teach me about their culture. I love the beauty and simplicity of Asia.

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Every week I look forward to Sunday morning. After living in China for a year I have come to appreciate the freedom of going to church like never before. I’m convinced that there is nothing better than being surrounded by a group of believers all worshiping the same God. There is something so powerful in those moments. For the last few weeks I have been attending the English service at Onnuri Church in the western part of the city. Each week when I step into the sanctuary I instantly feel renewed, encouraged, and thankful for the chance to worship. The church is really focused on missions and ministering to people who haven’t been given the same opportunities to know God. Throughout the building there are photos of people from around the world lining the walls. There are huge portraits of Tibetan, Latin American, and Chinese children wearing their traditional clothing. Murals pieced together with photos of men and women from Africa, South America, Southeast Asia, etc. There are banners displaying pictures of flags from nations around the world. The church walls remind me of what a diverse world we live in. They remind me of my own passion for the world, different cultures, and the church. The photos remind me that because of where I was born I am an automatic heir to luxuries that others only dream of having, and because of this I have a huge responsibility to meet the needs of those less fortunate.

Today the worship team started singing “How Great is our God” all I could do was close my eyes and listen to the words. I felt so overwhelmed and humbled thinking about God’s greatness. As the song played on I envisioned people from countries around the world…. those families living in straw huts across Africa, the women who walk miles everyday to get clean water, the children who run barefoot through the streets of Southeast Asia, the young girls who have been forced into brothels around the world because they have no hope for a brighter future. However, when I closed my eyes I also saw the comforts of the western world. People driving their cars to and from work, children sitting in air-conditioned schoolrooms and learning from textbooks, friends spending an afternoon at a shopping mall. It seems so strange that these two ways of living can even exist on the same planet. They are worlds apart. However, being in worship today reminded me that it is the same God who is Lord over everything. “How Great is our God.” He never promised that life would be equal. He only promised that he would care and love for us despite our circumstances. It’s overwhelming to think that I worship the Lord of all creation. It’s my job to be His hands and feet in a world that’s crying out for justice, compassion, and love. It’s my job to try and level the playing field of life.

How great is our God.
How great is our God.
Sing with me, how great is our God.

Today I am thankful for my freedom. I am thankful for a church where I feel inspired and encouraged. I am thankful to be part of a congregation comprised of people from countries around the world. I am thankful for this quiet Sunday evening at home in my warm apartment. Life is wonderful.

the beginning.

2007-11-18T05:50:00.000-08:00

I've never been very good at blogging because I write most of my thoughts in a journal. However, I've recently decided that I want to share my experience of living overseas. I want my family and friends to understand the details of my days spent in Korea. I want people to understand the reasons behind my passion for travel, the world, and more specifically, Asia. I often feel like the luckiest person on earth to be able to live my dream every day. I want others to understand this joy that I have found.