a reason to give thanks.

One of the things I love most about Thanksgiving is the opporunity it gives to pause and reflect on life's blessings. The things I am thankful for are too numerous to list in full, but a few of them include: my mom, dad, brother, and sister, parents that encourage me to follow my dreams, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, being an American citizen, a warm house, food, a well-paying job, good health, music, books, the opportunity to travel the world, fun memories, good friends in Asia, my best friend in the solar system, bicycles, coffee shops, my journal, freedom, photography, shoes, changing seasons, laughter, faith, the many wonderful people that have been a part of my life during the last 2 years, sunshine, exotic islands, airplanes, and a loving God who has blessed me with so much more than I deserve.

This Thanksgiving season meant more to me than ever before because it has been 3 years since I last celebrated it with family. Although I made many wonderful friends while living overseas, nothing compares to spending the holidays with people who love you unconditionally. I had a great time eating turkey and pie, sharing stories and photos from my last year in Korea, and seeing all of my relatives again. I am so thankful for my family and this time we have together before I return to Asia. I am blessed.


my mom's side of the family at the lakehouse. all 24 of us!


dad, sister, brother, me, and mom on thanksgiving day.

we celebrated with my dad's family too, but unfortunately i don't have any photos to share.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

live octopus.

This video was taken a few months ago when I still lived in Seoul, but I thought it was worthy of a blog post. One night a few of my friends went out for live octopus at a small restaurant in our neighborhood. It was hard to pick up the octopus legs with chopsticks because they kept moving, and when you finally got one into your mouth you had to chew quickly so that they wouldn't suction to your tongue. It was definitely an interetesting meal that I wouldn't mind having again. When I first moved to Asia 2 years ago I hardly ever ate meat...and now this. People change!

first impressions.

A week and a half ago I said a tearful goodbye to wonderful friends who have greatly influenced this last year of my life and boarded a plane for America. Although I have been "home" for a few days I am still in a state of culture shock. Everything is so much different than I remember, or maybe this last year in Seoul has changed me in ways that I am only just now discovering. Anderson Cooper once wrote about his travels by saying, "The longer you are gone, the harder it is to return." America has been my home for the last 23 years but the longer I stay in Asia the more disconnected I feel upon returning. During these last few days I have felt like an alien walking in a foreign land... moving from point A to B but not knowing how I got there. Only lately are things beginning to make more sense as I try to take things one day at a time. Leaving South Korea was one of the hardest moves I have ever made because I miss the life and friends that I left behind so much more than can be expressed in words. I am so thankful for last 14 months that were spent in Seoul. I think it was one of the most formative and exciting experiences in my life thus far. But now that I am in America I want to do everything I can to take advantage of this time with my family and friends before returning to Asia. I don't want to spend my time here dwelling on past memories or disoriented by the American way of life that now feels foreign. I know that the future is full of opportunites to travel, explore, and learn and I am excited to see where life leads. Despite the frequent feelings of sadness and confusion, I will find reason to rejoice!

First impressions upon returning to America:

- The pace of life. After living in a big city like Seoul the American suburbs seem like such a lonely place with their big houses and fenced yards. Everyday I find myself longing to return to a place full of streetside cafes, crowded shopping districts, and busy subways. I miss the constant movement of the city.

- The people. For the last 2 1/2 years I have been surrounded by thin, well-dressed Asians with black hair and almond shaped eyes. Although people are all unique in thier own way, they have the same defining features. Now I find myself in a place where everyone looks drastically different. I can't help but stare at the strange looking, oddly shaped men and women of various colors and sizes that I encouter throughout the day. We are a strange looking race (myself included). Now I understand why so many guys are attracted to Asian women... I would be too!

- The sky. I love the saying that everything is bigger in Texas, and it's true! I love driving along the highway and watching the sunset stretch across the earth. I haven't seen a sky this big, or blue, in a long time.

- The culture. Upon returning to America I have been trying to find something that defines this country. I never realized how diverse our nation is until I began traveling. In America it's not uncommon to see people from many different countries in a single day, or to eat Chinese food for dinner one night and Mexican the next. But in some ways I think this "melting pot" society has erased all uniqueness and left us without our own culture. One of the things I love about Asia is the distinct differences between thier way of life and my own... using chopsicks, eating rice at every meal, bowing to say hello, taking your shoes off in someone's home, practicing tae kwon do, etc. I am on a quest to discover what defines America.

final thoughts.

It's a beautiful fall day in Korea and I've been wandering the streets of Seoul for the last few hours. Work is finished, I have moved out of my apartment, and the return to America is only days away. It's a strange feeling to walk around the city that has been home for the last 14 months and to know you are possibly looking at everything for the final time. Today I feel like the most blessed person on earth as I reflect on the wonderful memories made throughout this last year. One person doesn't deserve so much. I am so thankful to have worked at a school that was organized and efficient and genuinely cared for its teachers. I am thankful to have been given a nice apartment in a beautiful neighborhood that felt like home. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to travel to so many places in Korea and throughout Asia during the last year. And above all, I am thankful for the friendships that were developed here. When I moved to Seoul last August I never imagined I'd find such wonderful people to share the experience with. None of this would have been nearly as fun, or as memorable, if it weren't for my friends that now feel more like family. My mind is flooded with thoughts of nights spent dancing until 4 am in Hongdae, mornings spent talking over a cup of coffee in Olympic Park, bike riding through the neighborhood, playing charades on a love motel bed, shopping with the girls in our favorite areas of the city, learning to snowboard during the cold winter, taking weekend trips to the beach, teaching beautiful Korean children English, developing deep friendships with people from all parts of the world, etc. The incredible moments I've been lucky enough to experience are too numerous to list. I am immensely grateful for this last year of life.

I am trying hard to remain joyful as I reflect on my time in Korea, although a part of me feels sad to leave it all behind. I already anticipate the ache in the pit of my stomach when the plane departs Seoul on Sunday morning. I know this will be the hardest move yet, but I feel confident that life will work out exactly as it is supposed to. As I sit next to the window now in this quiet coffee shop over-looking the streets of Insadong I can see red and yellow and orange leaves float to the ground outside. The changing seasons remind me of God's consistent love. Every year spring fades to summer, and summer to fall, because He directs the movement of the entire world. In the same way, I know God is in control of my life and I have faith that He will never lead me towards something new without having a greater purpose. I constantly wonder if leaving the home I've created in Korea is the right desicion, but I can't deny the pull I feel towards China. Although sad about ending this season in my life, I am excited to return to the country where my love affair with Asia first began. There is so much in store for the future and I eagerly aniticpate the start of something new. Goodbye Korea...

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become." -unknown