love.

"It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, mess around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can't live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses."
- 2 Days in Paris.

Has the cycle finally been broken? Love.

the day the angels sang.

Today a woman that I deeply love and admire slipped away from this earth and went home to be with her Father. My Nana will forever be one of the greatest roles models in my life and I am so thankful for the 25 years of memories together that now flood my mind. Cancer may have taken her body, but I know without a doubt that her soul now rest with Jesus.

Nana taught me so many invaluable lessons about life and love that I will remember forever. I have never known another woman so devoted to Christ or more determined to teach her children and grandchildren about the importance of living whole-heartedly for Him. Perhaps her greatest legacy will be the example that she set for us all. Not a single visit passed that she didn't ask me about my faith or encourage me with scripture. I have felt her prayers and love for me since the moment I was old enough to understand. I can only hope to one day have the faith the she lived and breathed every day of her life. In addition, she was one of the most selfless people I have ever known. When a person was in need, she was there to help. She made people feel like the most important person in the room at any given time. She deeply understood Jesus' command to "love one another." Not only did she care about those she didn't know, but the love she shared with my grandfather transcends anything that is of this world. Their marriage, which has always been centered on Christ, serves as an example that I hope to one day be lucky enough to follow.

I already miss so many things about her. The way she sang and danced to silly hymns to make us laugh, the shopping trips we took together every summer, the thousands of collections and knick-knacks that filled her home, the smell of her silver Cadillac, her closet full of clothes and shoes, "putting on our faces" together in her bathroom, the Christmas packages I received while living far away- one present to open each day of December until Christmas, the dozens of dresses that she made my sister and I when we were just little girls, the smell of her perfume, the way she proudly introduced me to her friends at church, the way I could talk to her so openly about about boys and relationships and anything else that was on my mind, the marked-up Bible sitting next to her chair that she read in full so many times, the way we gathered around her at Christmas as she read the story of Jesus' birth, the excitement and care in her voice every time I called, the way that she loved my grandpa. I miss her so much it hurts. However, I find comfort in knowing that she is in a place where there is no suffering. I have full confidence that today she is praising Jesus in heaven. I cry now only because I miss her, but rejoice because she has returned Home.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him." -Psalm 62:5

life as i know it.

This week was gray skies, India books, Ugg boots, running at the gym, old friends reunited, movies with family, homemade cookies, christmas decorations, overdue emails, Galleria shopping, hot apple cider, photo editing, icy roads, thoughts of Asia, and reaching a state of contentment.